1
00:06:00,177 --> 00:06:01,927
Hello?

2
00:06:07,343 --> 00:06:09,385
You've had an accident.

3
00:06:11,218 --> 00:06:12,843
You need an ambulance.

4
00:06:12,843 --> 00:06:15,968
I'll call for one.
I'll be right back.

5
00:06:15,968 --> 00:06:19,302
- Lie still here.
- No.

6
00:06:19,302 --> 00:06:20,968
No.

7
00:06:20,968 --> 00:06:23,260
No what?

8
00:06:23,260 --> 00:06:25,635
I don't need an ambulance.

9
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,718
I can clearly see you do.

10
00:06:27,718 --> 00:06:30,843
I'll call for one.

11
00:06:30,843 --> 00:06:32,552
In that case,
I'll be up and gone

12
00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:35,010
before you have time
to come back.

13
00:06:37,343 --> 00:06:39,135
That will hurt.

14
00:06:39,135 --> 00:06:43,052
That's possible.
But it doesn't matter to me.

15
00:06:47,427 --> 00:06:50,177
I assume you don't want me
to call the police either.

16
00:06:51,468 --> 00:06:54,343
Yes, that's exactly right.

17
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,052
Is there anything you want?

18
00:07:10,593 --> 00:07:14,468
I'd like a cup of tea
with some milk.

19
00:07:17,510 --> 00:07:19,510
Well...

20
00:07:20,635 --> 00:07:24,510
You have to come with me.

21
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:27,093
I don't serve tea in the street.

22
00:07:30,135 --> 00:07:32,010
Can you walk?

23
00:07:32,802 --> 00:07:34,093
Yeah.

24
00:07:36,718 --> 00:07:39,010
I've even bought a cake.

25
00:07:44,927 --> 00:07:46,718
Here's a pajama.

26
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:49,468
Thank you.

27
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:51,760
I've made up the bed for you.

28
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,843
With clean sheets.

29
00:08:11,802 --> 00:08:14,260
- Sorry.
- That's okay.

30
00:08:16,635 --> 00:08:18,510
There.

31
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:30,677
- I'll wash your clothes.
- Not my coat.

32
00:08:32,093 --> 00:08:34,218
It smells rather badly.

33
00:08:34,218 --> 00:08:36,052
It's my coat.

34
00:08:36,802 --> 00:08:38,802
The smell won't come off anyway.

35
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:41,677
It's your coat.

36
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:49,177
- Do you take sugar?
- No, thank you.

37
00:08:50,885 --> 00:08:52,677
There you go.

38
00:08:54,427 --> 00:08:56,218
Thank you.

39
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:03,843
So what happened?

40
00:09:04,843 --> 00:09:06,593
Were you robbed?

41
00:09:10,218 --> 00:09:12,843
It's my own fault.

42
00:09:14,677 --> 00:09:16,552
I'm just a bad human being.

43
00:09:17,927 --> 00:09:20,260
I've never met
a bad human being.

44
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,760
Well, you have now.

45
00:09:24,218 --> 00:09:26,927
Do you want to talk about it?

46
00:09:26,927 --> 00:09:28,843
You wouldn't understand.

47
00:09:31,677 --> 00:09:33,093
Well, try me.

48
00:09:35,718 --> 00:09:37,885
But I wouldn't know where to start.

49
00:09:47,718 --> 00:09:51,510
Why is that ridiculous
fishhook hanging there?

50
00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:53,760
That's a fly.

51
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,260
I caught a fish with it once,
a rather big one.

52
00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,177
Strangely enough.

53
00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,927
Fly fishing
is about tying feathers

54
00:10:04,927 --> 00:10:06,802
and other things to a hook

55
00:10:07,468 --> 00:10:11,010
so it resembles something
the fish likes to eat.

56
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:14,135
And then because
the fly is very light,

57
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:16,677
you have to have a line
that is heavy.

58
00:10:17,593 --> 00:10:19,968
It creates the velocity
when you cast.

59
00:10:30,218 --> 00:10:34,968
- You fish a lot?
- Well, some.

60
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,260
But I don't catch much.

61
00:10:39,593 --> 00:10:42,510
The locals catch a lot more.

62
00:10:43,552 --> 00:10:46,635
When I was young, I...
I had a book I...

63
00:10:46,635 --> 00:10:48,135
I worshipped.

64
00:10:54,427 --> 00:10:56,802
It was an old book
by Izaak Walton

65
00:10:56,802 --> 00:10:58,302
called "The Complete Angler."

66
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:05,052
It was like a romantic
nature bible to me.

67
00:11:16,135 --> 00:11:19,135
Maybe I know where to start.

68
00:11:22,718 --> 00:11:25,885
But if you're to understand, I'll...

69
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:28,885
I'll have to tell you
the whole story.

70
00:11:28,885 --> 00:11:30,760
And it'll be long.

71
00:11:32,385 --> 00:11:34,802
Long is good.

72
00:11:35,843 --> 00:11:38,718
And moral, I'm afraid.

73
00:11:49,885 --> 00:11:51,927
To begin with the bait,

74
00:11:51,927 --> 00:11:54,885
I discovered my cunt
as a two-year-old.

75
00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:58,427
"Cunt" is a very strong word.

76
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,968
Let's call it
"Pandora's Box" then.

77
00:12:01,968 --> 00:12:06,093
Um... No, no, no.
"Cunt" is better.

78
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:09,593
So, I was a nymphomaniac.

79
00:12:09,593 --> 00:12:12,218
Wait a moment, no.
Nobody can be a nymphomaniac

80
00:12:12,218 --> 00:12:13,843
when they're only two years old.

81
00:12:13,843 --> 00:12:15,468
I don't think even the strictest God

82
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:19,093
would see anything else
than a child's normal behavior.

83
00:12:19,802 --> 00:12:22,260
What about fetuses?
It's common knowledge

84
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:25,302
that fetuses often touch
their genital organs.

85
00:12:26,218 --> 00:12:28,802
Can a fetus somehow be sinful?

86
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,885
Why not?

87
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,218
Not according to any religion I know,

88
00:12:34,218 --> 00:12:36,843
unless it's an original sin.

89
00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,218
Ancestral.

90
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:44,593
Or perhaps according to a religion
that doesn't exist yet.

91
00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:48,885
According to a god that hasn't
yet manifested himself.

92
00:12:48,885 --> 00:12:51,260
But then you can imagine anything.

93
00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:59,677
At an early age,
I was mechanically inclined.

94
00:12:59,677 --> 00:13:04,468
Kinetic energy, for example,
has always fascinated me.

95
00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:08,677
And my friend,
let's call her "B,"

96
00:13:08,677 --> 00:13:10,843
always came up with the ideas.

97
00:13:12,510 --> 00:13:15,927
Playing frogs was one
of B's classics.

98
00:13:40,718 --> 00:13:42,135
Joe, are you all right?

99
00:13:42,135 --> 00:13:44,010
Just a moment.

100
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:47,593
Are you done?

101
00:13:58,302 --> 00:14:00,885
For Christ's sakes,
leave them alone.

102
00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:04,302
I loved my father very much.

103
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:05,677
He was a doctor.

104
00:14:06,677 --> 00:14:09,218
My mother's name was Katherine.

105
00:14:09,218 --> 00:14:11,260
My father called her Kay.

106
00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:16,593
I suppose she was what
you'd call "a cold bitch."

107
00:14:17,427 --> 00:14:21,302
She always had her back turned
when she played solitaire.

108
00:14:21,302 --> 00:14:23,093
I hated solitaire.

109
00:14:29,677 --> 00:14:32,635
When we had P.E.,
I'd climb up into the ropes

110
00:14:32,635 --> 00:14:37,010
and hang there for ages
with the rope between my legs.

111
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:40,677
"The Sensation" we called it.

112
00:14:40,677 --> 00:14:44,885
I remember very distinctly
this word, "sensation."

113
00:14:51,218 --> 00:14:55,218
Perhaps the only difference
between me and other people

114
00:14:55,218 --> 00:14:59,010
was that I've always demanded
more from the sunset.

115
00:14:59,843 --> 00:15:04,677
More spectacular colors
when the sun hit the horizon.

116
00:15:07,135 --> 00:15:09,093
That's perhaps my only sin.

117
00:15:12,677 --> 00:15:15,135
Why are you insisting
that children are sinful?

118
00:15:16,093 --> 00:15:17,802
Not children.

119
00:15:17,802 --> 00:15:18,718
Me.

120
00:15:20,468 --> 00:15:22,093
I don't see sin anywhere.

121
00:15:22,593 --> 00:15:24,718
But then I'm not religious.

122
00:15:24,718 --> 00:15:27,802
Well, that's because you don't
know the rest of the story.

123
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,927
And by the way,
I'm not religious either.

124
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,427
Why would you take the most
unsympathetic aspect

125
00:15:33,427 --> 00:15:36,843
of religion such as
the concept of sin...

126
00:15:37,802 --> 00:15:40,468
and let it survive beyond religion?

127
00:15:44,218 --> 00:15:46,760
I don't understand this self-hatred.

128
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,218
Well, that's what I said.

129
00:15:49,218 --> 00:15:51,677
- You wouldn't understand.
- No, I'm...

130
00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:54,635
I'm sorry, I'll shut up.

131
00:15:56,552 --> 00:15:58,052
Please continue.

132
00:16:12,052 --> 00:16:16,010
Nervus... pudendus.

133
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:25,093
Nervus dorsalis clitoridis.

134
00:17:11,635 --> 00:17:14,635
When the ash tree was created,

135
00:17:14,635 --> 00:17:17,343
it made all the other trees
in the forest jealous.

136
00:17:18,635 --> 00:17:20,802
It was the most beautiful tree.

137
00:17:23,927 --> 00:17:26,052
You couldn't say
anything bad about it.

138
00:17:27,343 --> 00:17:31,093
It was the World Tree
in Norse mythology.

139
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,843
Remember, Odin...

140
00:17:33,843 --> 00:17:37,343
He hung from the ash tree,
Yggdrasil, for nine days

141
00:17:37,343 --> 00:17:39,052
in order to gain insight.

142
00:17:41,552 --> 00:17:43,718
The ash tree had
the strongest wood.

143
00:17:49,093 --> 00:17:51,010
Then in the winter...

144
00:17:53,135 --> 00:17:55,552
when the ash tree
lost all of its leaves...

145
00:17:58,718 --> 00:18:01,385
all the trees noticed
its black buds,

146
00:18:01,385 --> 00:18:03,218
and started laughing.

147
00:18:03,218 --> 00:18:05,302
"Oh, look.

148
00:18:05,302 --> 00:18:09,093
The ash tree has had
its fingers in the ashes."

149
00:18:11,843 --> 00:18:12,968
See?

150
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:17,010
You can always tell
the ash tree in winter

151
00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:18,093
by the black buds.

152
00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:30,635
Now...

153
00:18:32,052 --> 00:18:35,302
Now this is a lime tree leaf.

154
00:18:35,302 --> 00:18:38,593
- Remember?
- I forgot about the lime tree.

155
00:18:38,593 --> 00:18:40,718
I've told you 100 times.

156
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:44,218
My dad loved
telling me about the trees,

157
00:18:44,218 --> 00:18:46,718
and their leaves,
and considered it

158
00:18:46,718 --> 00:18:48,635
part of a good education.

159
00:18:49,635 --> 00:18:53,802
He especially loved the childish
educational stories he told

160
00:18:53,802 --> 00:18:56,593
to help me remember
what I had learned.

161
00:18:57,677 --> 00:19:00,343
I knew how much he loved
telling those stories.

162
00:19:00,343 --> 00:19:03,635
Sometimes I pretended
I'd forgotten them.

163
00:19:05,718 --> 00:19:09,385
Originally, the lime
tree's leaves were round.

164
00:19:11,052 --> 00:19:13,093
A fox had her den
beneath its roots

165
00:19:13,093 --> 00:19:14,760
where she had four cubs.

166
00:19:16,010 --> 00:19:18,385
One day, she went out
looking for food for them.

167
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:21,468
There was a hunt in the forest.
She was shot.

168
00:19:22,052 --> 00:19:25,510
Wounded, she crawled back to the den

169
00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:28,802
where she and the four cubs died.

170
00:19:31,593 --> 00:19:33,760
This made the lime tree so sad.

171
00:19:34,427 --> 00:19:35,760
And from then on,

172
00:19:36,302 --> 00:19:39,010
the lime tree decided to have...

173
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,468
heart-shaped leaves.

174
00:19:44,260 --> 00:19:47,718
Oh, yes, that's right.
Heart-shaped.

175
00:19:53,510 --> 00:19:55,302
Am I boring you?

176
00:19:55,302 --> 00:19:57,802
No, no. I'm just
looking forward

177
00:19:57,802 --> 00:20:00,427
to how you'll get fishing
weaved into your tale.

178
00:20:00,427 --> 00:20:04,510
You could start with the fly
on the wall there.

179
00:20:04,510 --> 00:20:06,218
It's called a nymph.

180
00:20:06,968 --> 00:20:08,968
It will tie in elegantly
with your discussion

181
00:20:08,968 --> 00:20:14,093
about nymphomania.
A nymph is an early stage

182
00:20:14,093 --> 00:20:15,927
in the life of an insect.

183
00:20:18,052 --> 00:20:20,385
As a quite young nymph,

184
00:20:20,968 --> 00:20:24,427
it was imperative for me
to get rid of my virginity.

185
00:20:25,302 --> 00:20:26,468
Hopla.

186
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,802
I kind of knew this boy, J,

187
00:20:29,802 --> 00:20:31,885
who had a moped.

188
00:20:32,593 --> 00:20:34,802
So in my eyes he was
rather sophisticated.

189
00:20:36,218 --> 00:20:37,885
I was 15,

190
00:20:37,885 --> 00:20:40,593
and perhaps my girlish,
romantic expectations

191
00:20:40,593 --> 00:20:42,093
were a bit high.

192
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,927
But he had good, strong hands.

193
00:20:50,427 --> 00:20:52,010
I liked his hands.

194
00:20:58,927 --> 00:21:00,260
Hello?

195
00:21:01,135 --> 00:21:02,843
- Hi.
- Hi.

196
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:20,135
If I asked you to take my virginity
would that be a problem?

197
00:21:22,385 --> 00:21:24,010
No, I don't see a problem.

198
00:21:28,552 --> 00:21:29,843
So, um...

199
00:21:32,343 --> 00:21:33,968
Where shall I go?

200
00:22:03,010 --> 00:22:04,885
It's the fucking carburetor.

201
00:22:07,052 --> 00:22:09,010
I just can't work it out,
you imagine that?

202
00:22:11,593 --> 00:22:14,052
- That's not very good.
- Hmm?

203
00:22:14,052 --> 00:22:16,135
- It's not very good.
- No, it bloody isn't.

204
00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:18,177
Ruins the whole idea
of having a moped.

205
00:22:21,677 --> 00:22:24,135
You should probably take off
your knickers, yeah?

206
00:23:09,302 --> 00:23:12,843
He shoved his cock
inside me and humped me three times.

207
00:23:21,427 --> 00:23:24,677
Then he turned
me over like a sack of potatoes.

208
00:23:32,427 --> 00:23:35,343
Then he humped me
five times in the ass.

209
00:24:42,593 --> 00:24:45,177
I never forgot those
two humiliating numbers.

210
00:24:47,510 --> 00:24:49,052
Three and five?

211
00:24:49,052 --> 00:24:50,635
Those are Fibonacci numbers.

212
00:24:54,885 --> 00:24:56,218
That may be.

213
00:24:56,218 --> 00:24:58,302
In any case, it hurt like hell.

214
00:24:58,927 --> 00:25:02,218
I swore I'd never sleep
with anyone again.

215
00:25:02,218 --> 00:25:05,552
But of course that only
lasted a short while.

216
00:25:06,052 --> 00:25:09,010
And now to get back
to your fishing.

217
00:25:09,010 --> 00:25:12,010
A couple of years later,

218
00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:14,260
I was at my friend B's,

219
00:25:14,260 --> 00:25:16,968
and as always,
she had a new idea,

220
00:25:16,968 --> 00:25:20,468
financed by her younger
brother's piggy banks

221
00:25:20,468 --> 00:25:22,510
which she regularly emptied.

222
00:25:27,593 --> 00:25:29,927
We put on clothes later known as

223
00:25:30,635 --> 00:25:32,927
the "fuck me now" clothes.

224
00:25:33,968 --> 00:25:36,885
The idea was a competition.

225
00:25:36,885 --> 00:25:39,552
We were to go on a train trip.

226
00:25:39,552 --> 00:25:42,427
B said there was
no need for tickets.

227
00:25:43,385 --> 00:25:45,635
The one who would fuck
the most men

228
00:25:45,635 --> 00:25:47,968
when we reached the destination

229
00:25:47,968 --> 00:25:50,010
would win the chocolate sweets.

230
00:25:51,218 --> 00:25:54,510
"Born To Be Wild") ♪

231
00:26:13,635 --> 00:26:15,093
May I interrupt here?

232
00:26:16,510 --> 00:26:19,260
What you were doing when you
walked down that corridor.

233
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,343
You were reading the river.

234
00:26:34,802 --> 00:26:38,468
Most of the large
fish stay sheltered from the current

235
00:26:38,468 --> 00:26:40,843
to save energy,
and to hide from the prey.

236
00:26:41,885 --> 00:26:43,510
Where the fish hides in the stream

237
00:26:43,510 --> 00:26:45,635
entails a very
complicated hierarchy.

238
00:26:47,593 --> 00:26:51,135
The topography decides where
the most attractive places are,

239
00:26:51,135 --> 00:26:53,427
and the biggest fish
choose the best positions.

240
00:27:01,885 --> 00:27:03,677
What do I do?

241
00:27:03,677 --> 00:27:06,052
Smile and make eye contact.

242
00:27:06,052 --> 00:27:08,093
But what if it doesn't work?

243
00:27:08,593 --> 00:27:11,593
If you have to talk, remember
to ask lots of "wh" questions

244
00:27:11,593 --> 00:27:13,343
if you want more than
a yes or no answer.

245
00:27:13,343 --> 00:27:14,802
Then it'll just happen on its own.

246
00:27:14,802 --> 00:27:18,260
You just take them to the lavatory
and you have sex with them.

247
00:27:18,260 --> 00:27:21,635
Oh. What if it's nasty?

248
00:27:21,635 --> 00:27:24,177
Then you just think of the bag
of chocolate sweeties.

249
00:27:56,302 --> 00:27:59,510
What... What time is it?

250
00:28:01,885 --> 00:28:02,885
Ten.

251
00:28:17,927 --> 00:28:20,218
Where do you come from?

252
00:28:21,635 --> 00:28:23,010
From home.

253
00:28:30,510 --> 00:28:33,052
Who knows where
the lavatory is?

254
00:28:34,010 --> 00:28:36,593
Well, if you take a right,
you will arrive at a lavatory

255
00:28:36,593 --> 00:28:38,218
at the end of the car.

256
00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:41,343
At the same time it is
so cleverly arranged

257
00:28:41,343 --> 00:28:46,093
that if you take a left turn you
will also arrive at a lavatory

258
00:28:46,093 --> 00:28:48,843
since at the end of the next car
there is also one.

259
00:29:08,135 --> 00:29:09,677
Let me show you
where the lavatory is.

260
00:29:41,593 --> 00:29:44,010
It turned out to be
shockingly easy.

261
00:29:44,802 --> 00:29:48,510
In no time,
B was ahead five to three.

262
00:29:48,510 --> 00:29:50,218
And it was exactly right.

263
00:29:50,218 --> 00:29:52,677
Look them in the eye and smile.

264
00:29:53,843 --> 00:29:56,260
But then suddenly, it stopped.

265
00:29:56,260 --> 00:29:59,552
That's a very clear parallel
to fishing in the stream.

266
00:30:00,385 --> 00:30:04,218
As it happens, either none
of the fish are feeding,

267
00:30:04,218 --> 00:30:05,927
or they all feed
at the same time.

268
00:30:05,927 --> 00:30:09,677
They go into feeding frenzy.
All bite.

269
00:30:09,677 --> 00:30:12,427
And then just as suddenly
as it started, it stops.

270
00:30:13,593 --> 00:30:17,760
It's observable, but it's
highly unpredictable.

271
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,343
And it has to do with,
I don't know,

272
00:30:20,343 --> 00:30:23,218
weather, barometric pressure,

273
00:30:23,218 --> 00:30:28,760
maybe some fish psychology.
If that's possible.

274
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,802
Anyway, the fish most readily bite
at the beginning of a light rain,

275
00:30:32,802 --> 00:30:35,343
and I think that's because
they feel safe

276
00:30:35,343 --> 00:30:37,552
when they swim in the stream.

277
00:30:37,552 --> 00:30:39,593
Because they can't be seen
from above.

278
00:30:39,593 --> 00:30:41,885
The water's surface is disturbed.

279
00:30:44,260 --> 00:30:46,385
But then it started again.

280
00:30:46,385 --> 00:30:49,052
Although, a bit more slowly.

281
00:30:49,052 --> 00:30:51,802
Yeah. I think I know how.

282
00:30:51,802 --> 00:30:55,135
Because fly fishing can be
done in several phases.

283
00:30:55,135 --> 00:30:59,510
And if the fish stop biting,
you move on to phase two.

284
00:30:59,510 --> 00:31:02,968
And in phase two, you not
only imitate an insect,

285
00:31:02,968 --> 00:31:05,427
but an insect in trouble.

286
00:31:06,260 --> 00:31:08,427
You pull... You pull the line.

287
00:31:08,427 --> 00:31:12,593
You tug it irregularly,
so the fish gets the impression

288
00:31:12,593 --> 00:31:15,635
that it's dealing with
an injured and easy prey.

289
00:31:16,468 --> 00:31:20,885
And then helplessly, let the fly
float down the river again.

290
00:31:20,885 --> 00:31:24,635
Then half-heartedly,
make a few jumps forward again.

291
00:31:27,177 --> 00:31:30,427
It can be done... It can
be done very elegantly.

292
00:31:44,218 --> 00:31:45,302
Hey.

293
00:31:46,260 --> 00:31:47,468
Sorry.

294
00:31:48,385 --> 00:31:50,510
Nothing to feel sorry about.

295
00:31:51,927 --> 00:31:54,385
I'm just not feeling
very well today.

296
00:31:55,135 --> 00:31:56,968
What could be so bad?

297
00:31:58,052 --> 00:32:00,052
Oh, thank you.

298
00:32:01,885 --> 00:32:05,302
I can't talk about it right now.

299
00:32:05,302 --> 00:32:07,802
Can I just sit here
for awhile?

300
00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:10,885
Yeah. Sure.

301
00:32:16,552 --> 00:32:18,302
Is it better now?

302
00:32:18,302 --> 00:32:19,968
No.

303
00:32:31,635 --> 00:32:35,218
- Are you all right?
- It's Betty.

304
00:32:37,343 --> 00:32:39,427
I was just told
that she's very ill.

305
00:32:39,427 --> 00:32:42,343
Is Betty a close family member?

306
00:32:45,052 --> 00:32:47,468
You could say that.

307
00:32:47,468 --> 00:32:49,802
She's my dwarf hamster.

308
00:32:49,802 --> 00:32:53,635
Dwarf hamster?
You can't be serious.

309
00:32:53,635 --> 00:32:55,843
Well, what was I to do?

310
00:32:55,843 --> 00:32:59,635
And then, I did have a dwarf
hamster when I was young.

311
00:32:59,635 --> 00:33:01,802
That you were very close to?

312
00:33:01,802 --> 00:33:04,510
Not at all.
A bloody nuisance.

313
00:33:04,510 --> 00:33:07,427
Dwarf hamster?
That's not so bad.

314
00:33:09,177 --> 00:33:11,385
Would have been worse
if it were a person.

315
00:33:11,385 --> 00:33:13,510
Don't say that.

316
00:33:13,510 --> 00:33:16,760
I'm extremely fond of my hamster.

317
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:21,177
Yes, I think that's a rather
cynical thing to say about Betty.

318
00:33:21,177 --> 00:33:25,302
Yes, I made the cage nice
and cozy for her when...

319
00:33:25,302 --> 00:33:27,677
- When I got her.
- I bet she liked that.

320
00:33:29,218 --> 00:33:30,510
Betty was excited.

321
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:35,468
One of nature's
most meaningless creatures.

322
00:33:36,302 --> 00:33:38,802
You're aware that
the choice of a dwarf hamster

323
00:33:38,802 --> 00:33:42,302
possibly suggests certain
sexual connotations.

324
00:33:42,302 --> 00:33:43,718
I can see that now

325
00:33:43,718 --> 00:33:46,635
but it was really not
a conscious choice.

326
00:33:47,802 --> 00:33:51,218
How long does a dwarf hamster
actually live?

327
00:33:51,218 --> 00:33:53,302
Months, years?

328
00:33:54,177 --> 00:33:56,177
Its life is much too short.

329
00:34:04,093 --> 00:34:07,052
Would you show me
where the lavatory is?

330
00:34:08,218 --> 00:34:11,177
I... have to blow my nose.

331
00:34:30,427 --> 00:34:32,843
Just the same,
we were running out of subjects,

332
00:34:32,843 --> 00:34:35,552
and B was ahead on points,

333
00:34:35,552 --> 00:34:39,177
which led us to S's
first-class compartment.

334
00:34:43,635 --> 00:34:45,093
Tickets, please.

335
00:34:51,093 --> 00:34:53,427
Thank you. Ladies?

336
00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:56,093
Tickets.

337
00:35:06,718 --> 00:35:08,635
Well...

338
00:35:10,385 --> 00:35:12,427
I think I might have lost it.

339
00:35:12,427 --> 00:35:14,093
Perhaps.

340
00:35:15,510 --> 00:35:17,510
Drop yours as well, did you?

341
00:35:18,135 --> 00:35:21,468
I haven't bought a ticket
for your shitty train.

342
00:35:22,093 --> 00:35:24,218
It's so bloody slow,
we should have been

343
00:35:24,218 --> 00:35:26,093
at the end of the track
half an hour ago.

344
00:35:26,093 --> 00:35:28,968
Regardless of delays, you still
need a ticket, sweetheart.

345
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,385
Eight pounds each, please.

346
00:35:33,510 --> 00:35:35,677
Ooh!

347
00:35:35,677 --> 00:35:38,802
I accidentally tore it up.

348
00:35:38,802 --> 00:35:41,343
Can't expect me to pay
for scraps of paper.

349
00:35:41,885 --> 00:35:44,218
- Have another one.
- Oh, great idea.

350
00:35:44,218 --> 00:35:46,927
Oh, that one's disappeared too.

351
00:35:46,927 --> 00:35:48,427
I can always just get the police

352
00:35:48,427 --> 00:35:50,593
to collect your payment
at the next station...

353
00:35:50,593 --> 00:35:53,135
Let's just take it easy here,
shall we?

354
00:35:53,135 --> 00:35:56,010
Apparently, the young ladies
have left without any money.

355
00:35:56,010 --> 00:35:57,968
If it's okay with you, I'd like
to pay for their tickets.

356
00:35:57,968 --> 00:36:00,927
No, sir, it's not.
Leave your money where it is.

357
00:36:00,927 --> 00:36:02,718
We'll let the police
deal with these two.

358
00:36:02,718 --> 00:36:04,427
We did have sort of an agreement

359
00:36:04,427 --> 00:36:06,427
that I was to pay.
I just forgot about it.

360
00:36:10,093 --> 00:36:13,968
I see. Two first-class tickets...

361
00:36:13,968 --> 00:36:16,427
for two first-class ladies.

362
00:36:18,093 --> 00:36:19,968
Enjoy the rest of your journey.

363
00:36:22,260 --> 00:36:23,927
Tickets, please.

364
00:36:32,427 --> 00:36:35,510
Now that you've been
so nice to us...

365
00:36:37,552 --> 00:36:40,135
we'd like to be nice to you, too.

366
00:36:40,135 --> 00:36:42,593
Oh, that's very kind of you,
but there's no need.

367
00:36:47,510 --> 00:36:48,802
I mean that.

368
00:36:53,093 --> 00:36:55,302
You have to split them up
into whether they have

369
00:36:55,302 --> 00:36:57,427
a goal and a mission or not.

370
00:36:58,552 --> 00:36:59,843
That one doesn't.

371
00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:02,468
Well, I've already lost anyway.

372
00:37:04,510 --> 00:37:08,135
I'm willing to give you
five extra points...

373
00:37:10,718 --> 00:37:12,968
if you can get that one in there.

374
00:37:15,385 --> 00:37:18,218
I decided,
perhaps a bit desperately,

375
00:37:18,218 --> 00:37:20,468
that the only thing
standing between me

376
00:37:20,468 --> 00:37:22,385
and the bag of chocolate sweets,

377
00:37:22,385 --> 00:37:26,843
was an unequivocal provocation
of this man.

378
00:37:26,843 --> 00:37:30,260
Excellent. An induced take.

379
00:37:30,260 --> 00:37:33,468
When all other attempts fail,
a dramatic provocation

380
00:37:33,468 --> 00:37:37,177
can get an otherwise completely
passive fish to bite.

381
00:37:37,177 --> 00:37:39,052
A salmon or a trout,
for example,

382
00:37:39,052 --> 00:37:41,635
eats itself fat
while in salt water,

383
00:37:41,635 --> 00:37:43,718
and then basically
has no need to eat

384
00:37:43,718 --> 00:37:47,635
as it makes its way upstream
to the spawning grounds.

385
00:37:47,635 --> 00:37:50,010
They're not hungry but they
will react instinctively

386
00:37:50,010 --> 00:37:51,760
to the right provocation.

387
00:37:52,635 --> 00:37:54,635
Which would not be a fly,
but for instance,

388
00:37:54,635 --> 00:37:58,343
a brightly colored wobbler,
preferably red,

389
00:37:58,343 --> 00:38:01,260
served immediately
in front of the fish.

390
00:38:01,260 --> 00:38:04,760
The very best is one we call
the Finnish Weapon.

391
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,635
The so-called "Rappala."

392
00:38:09,552 --> 00:38:11,427
I don't know if it's comparable,

393
00:38:11,427 --> 00:38:14,468
but I decided in any case
to find out

394
00:38:14,468 --> 00:38:16,552
why he hadn't taken the bait,

395
00:38:16,552 --> 00:38:19,093
and to use my
psychological abilities,

396
00:38:19,093 --> 00:38:23,010
which B, in my opinion,
didn't possess to the same degree.

397
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,427
You've bought a gift.

398
00:38:28,052 --> 00:38:28,968
Yes.

399
00:38:30,635 --> 00:38:32,177
It's for my wife.

400
00:38:33,677 --> 00:38:37,677
- No gifts for the children?
- No.

401
00:38:38,885 --> 00:38:40,968
We don't have any, actually.

402
00:38:41,843 --> 00:38:44,927
Well, you seem rather well-to-do.

403
00:38:46,677 --> 00:38:51,552
You travel first-class,
and you bought us our tickets.

404
00:38:51,552 --> 00:38:55,593
Why then not buy a decent gift
for your wife?

405
00:38:55,593 --> 00:38:58,343
I can see it comes
from the station.

406
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,427
Of course I should have...

407
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:08,677
bought her something...

408
00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:10,385
something better, but...

409
00:39:11,552 --> 00:39:14,593
Let's just say I was suddenly
in a hurry to get home.

410
00:39:15,593 --> 00:39:18,468
Why would a man like you

411
00:39:18,468 --> 00:39:21,593
with such an orderly life
suddenly have to hurry?

412
00:39:25,343 --> 00:39:27,260
It has to do with family.

413
00:39:29,885 --> 00:39:32,385
My wife and I have decided
that we...

414
00:39:35,343 --> 00:39:37,677
we miss having children, after all.

415
00:39:38,343 --> 00:39:41,135
And that if we are to have children,
it has to be now.

416
00:39:43,927 --> 00:39:46,218
So my wife called yesterday
to say that she...

417
00:39:47,593 --> 00:39:49,052
She started ovulating.

418
00:39:51,177 --> 00:39:55,302
And all signs point to maximum
fertility precisely tonight.

419
00:39:56,385 --> 00:39:57,468
You see?

420
00:39:58,427 --> 00:40:01,135
That's why I bought her
a gift at the station.

421
00:40:01,135 --> 00:40:03,843
I had to get a ticket home
as quickly as possible.

422
00:40:05,635 --> 00:40:10,677
- Well, I understand now.
- What is it you understand?

423
00:40:10,677 --> 00:40:13,093
Why you didn't have sex with us.

424
00:40:16,677 --> 00:40:19,468
It wasn't because I didn't want to.

425
00:40:19,468 --> 00:40:23,468
So you've been saving your sperm.

426
00:40:23,468 --> 00:40:28,343
For weeks. I mean,
you and your wife are...

427
00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:31,677
seem to be at an age
where every attempt

428
00:40:31,677 --> 00:40:35,927
to become pregnant has to be
taken very seriously.

429
00:40:37,885 --> 00:40:39,885
Right now, my...

430
00:40:41,968 --> 00:40:46,010
My sperm quality
is at its peak, I'm told.

431
00:41:00,468 --> 00:41:02,052
Please...

432
00:41:05,843 --> 00:41:08,343
I'm begging you, please don't.

433
00:41:09,218 --> 00:41:10,135
It's okay.

434
00:41:11,468 --> 00:41:12,718
Please don't.

435
00:41:15,260 --> 00:41:17,635
You've been as horny as hell.

436
00:41:18,677 --> 00:41:20,635
But you wouldn't
give up your load.

437
00:41:21,385 --> 00:41:22,635
Please don't.

438
00:41:32,510 --> 00:41:34,427
Oh, fuck.

439
00:42:14,510 --> 00:42:15,593
Wow.

440
00:42:28,135 --> 00:42:32,010
In your case, it wasn't
the taste of a Madeleine cake,

441
00:42:32,010 --> 00:42:33,885
moistened with lime blossom tea,

442
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:36,927
but the combination
of chocolate and sperm.

443
00:42:37,968 --> 00:42:39,052
What?

444
00:42:39,635 --> 00:42:44,677
That was a piece of
culturally blasphemic digression.

445
00:42:46,635 --> 00:42:48,552
It's a story about memory.

446
00:42:48,552 --> 00:42:50,593
How the combination
of two flavors

447
00:42:50,593 --> 00:42:52,677
set off a chain of memories.

448
00:42:55,260 --> 00:42:59,510
So oral sex became,
in the eye of the angler,

449
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:04,302
your... your Finnish weapon.

450
00:43:04,302 --> 00:43:06,302
Is that your only comment?

451
00:43:08,260 --> 00:43:10,343
What else... What else
do you want me to say?

452
00:43:12,302 --> 00:43:14,302
That I behaved reprehensibly.

453
00:43:15,635 --> 00:43:17,843
That already my actions exemplify

454
00:43:17,843 --> 00:43:20,885
that I'm a...
I'm a terrible human being.

455
00:43:21,927 --> 00:43:24,427
That's not the way I see it.

456
00:43:24,427 --> 00:43:27,010
On the contrary, I saw it as a...

457
00:43:27,010 --> 00:43:29,552
A very pleasurable
and humorous story.

458
00:43:30,385 --> 00:43:34,093
Not at all sad, or...
or weighed down by sin.

459
00:43:34,718 --> 00:43:36,260
Like all that talk
about Pandora's Box.

460
00:43:36,260 --> 00:43:40,302
I've consciously used
and hurt others...

461
00:43:40,302 --> 00:43:43,135
for the sake of
my own satisfaction.

462
00:43:43,968 --> 00:43:46,760
And what I've told you so far
only begins to suggest that.

463
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,552
But when you told the story,
you were cheerful.

464
00:43:49,552 --> 00:43:50,802
Full of humor.

465
00:43:51,385 --> 00:43:55,177
It wasn't as if you embarked
on some tragic tale.

466
00:43:55,177 --> 00:43:57,260
Well, that's the way I am.

467
00:43:59,427 --> 00:44:02,968
I've always loved
the chills at the start of a fever,

468
00:44:02,968 --> 00:44:06,260
knowing only too well that
sickness will soon follow.

469
00:44:13,010 --> 00:44:15,093
The only thing you've done,

470
00:44:15,093 --> 00:44:18,135
except giving a few people
an experience to remember,

471
00:44:18,135 --> 00:44:19,635
is that you...

472
00:44:19,635 --> 00:44:22,093
You relieved S from his load

473
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,177
in some... some youthful hubris.

474
00:44:27,468 --> 00:44:30,427
I read somewhere that if you
keep the load too long

475
00:44:30,427 --> 00:44:31,927
the sperm will die.

476
00:44:31,927 --> 00:44:34,177
Or worse, degenerate.

477
00:44:35,510 --> 00:44:37,927
Maybe thanks to you,
Mr. S and his wife

478
00:44:37,927 --> 00:44:40,385
now have a healthy
and well-functioning child.

479
00:44:42,302 --> 00:44:45,052
I discovered my power as a woman

480
00:44:45,052 --> 00:44:47,510
and used it without
any concern for others.

481
00:44:48,510 --> 00:44:50,135
That's completely unacceptable.

482
00:44:50,135 --> 00:44:52,427
Oh, little darling...

483
00:44:52,427 --> 00:44:54,052
Don't you "little darling" me.

484
00:44:57,052 --> 00:44:57,802
No.

485
00:45:00,802 --> 00:45:02,718
What I wanted to say was that

486
00:45:03,635 --> 00:45:05,468
if you have wings, why not fly?

487
00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:08,260
Allow me to digress.

488
00:45:08,885 --> 00:45:11,677
I read a book about
Sikorski and helicopters

489
00:45:11,677 --> 00:45:13,593
where the author
stressed the fact that

490
00:45:13,593 --> 00:45:17,052
in order to take off, you tilt
the helicopter forward.

491
00:45:17,052 --> 00:45:19,135
It looks like you're trying
to force the helicopter

492
00:45:19,135 --> 00:45:23,427
down into the ground,
but the effect is the contrary.

493
00:45:23,427 --> 00:45:25,468
That the velocity
takes the helicopter

494
00:45:25,468 --> 00:45:29,302
and sweeps it up in the air.

495
00:45:29,302 --> 00:45:32,135
The pilots say the helicopter
wants to fly.

496
00:45:33,968 --> 00:45:36,135
It's like when you're
in a glider plane,

497
00:45:36,135 --> 00:45:39,135
and suddenly you're lifted,

498
00:45:39,135 --> 00:45:42,968
because of the spontaneous
emission of thermals.

499
00:45:42,968 --> 00:45:48,260
Thermals is when the sun
is warming up the field,

500
00:45:48,260 --> 00:45:52,385
and it emits a thermal bubble
of warm air that rises.

501
00:45:53,260 --> 00:45:55,677
These aircraft, they want to fly.

502
00:45:55,677 --> 00:45:57,927
It's just a little
unpredictable when.

503
00:46:00,135 --> 00:46:02,718
You flew on that... on that train.

504
00:46:04,093 --> 00:46:06,385
And that surprised you.

505
00:46:41,343 --> 00:46:42,968
No more stories.

506
00:46:45,302 --> 00:46:46,885
You need to sleep.

507
00:46:47,552 --> 00:46:48,927
No, no.

508
00:46:49,593 --> 00:46:51,760
This is beginning to amuse me.

509
00:46:58,468 --> 00:47:00,343
I don't even know your name.

510
00:47:02,052 --> 00:47:03,343
My name is Joe.

511
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:06,302
I'm Seligman.

512
00:47:07,968 --> 00:47:10,010
What a fucking ridiculous name.

513
00:47:12,468 --> 00:47:13,927
It's Jewish.

514
00:47:15,052 --> 00:47:16,718
You said you weren't religious.

515
00:47:16,718 --> 00:47:19,177
No, but my great-grandfather was.

516
00:47:19,177 --> 00:47:22,260
And my parents gave me
the name as a sort of...

517
00:47:23,302 --> 00:47:25,718
sentimental association to Judaism.

518
00:47:29,677 --> 00:47:34,718
Why let the sentimental part
of religion, as you said,

519
00:47:34,718 --> 00:47:37,760
outlive religion itself?

520
00:47:41,135 --> 00:47:42,552
You have a point.

521
00:47:45,427 --> 00:47:48,468
But we've always been anti-Zionists,

522
00:47:50,093 --> 00:47:52,343
which is not the same
as being anti-Semitic,

523
00:47:53,635 --> 00:47:56,260
as certain political powers
try to convince us.

524
00:47:57,260 --> 00:47:58,677
Seligman...

525
00:47:59,718 --> 00:48:02,260
means "the happy one."

526
00:48:05,552 --> 00:48:07,218
So, are you happy then?

527
00:48:10,218 --> 00:48:11,968
Well, I suppose I am.

528
00:48:13,927 --> 00:48:15,552
In my own way.

529
00:48:16,218 --> 00:48:17,635
Even if I'm the kind of person

530
00:48:17,635 --> 00:48:19,968
who cut the nails
of the right hand first.

531
00:48:19,968 --> 00:48:21,385
What does that mean?

532
00:48:22,302 --> 00:48:24,593
Well, I divide humanity
into two groups:

533
00:48:24,593 --> 00:48:27,552
the people who cut the nails
on the left hand first,

534
00:48:27,552 --> 00:48:30,510
and the people who cut the nails
of the right hand first.

535
00:48:31,468 --> 00:48:33,468
My theory is that the people
who cut the nails

536
00:48:33,468 --> 00:48:36,802
of the left hand first,
they're more light-hearted.

537
00:48:36,802 --> 00:48:39,218
They have a tendency
to enjoy life more,

538
00:48:39,718 --> 00:48:42,718
because they go straight
for the easiest task, and...

539
00:48:43,427 --> 00:48:46,218
save the difficulties for later.

540
00:48:52,052 --> 00:48:56,343
- So what do you do?
- Always the left hand first.

541
00:48:56,343 --> 00:48:58,177
I don't think there's a choice.

542
00:48:58,927 --> 00:49:02,302
Go for the pleasure first, always.

543
00:49:02,302 --> 00:49:05,552
And then when you've
done the left hand,

544
00:49:05,552 --> 00:49:07,260
only the right hand remains.

545
00:49:07,968 --> 00:49:10,552
That's the easiest one left.

546
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,968
I never thought of it like that.

547
00:49:22,802 --> 00:49:24,718
Well, you're never too old.

548
00:49:25,552 --> 00:49:26,843
Never too old to learn.

549
00:49:35,343 --> 00:49:37,677
That's rugelach.

550
00:49:37,677 --> 00:49:40,177
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's a Jewish cake.

551
00:49:40,177 --> 00:49:43,760
- There's that sentimentality again.
- Oh, but it's more than rugelach.

552
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,427
It's rugelach served
with a cake fork.

553
00:49:47,968 --> 00:49:51,135
A rugelach, in my opinion, is pastry,

554
00:49:51,135 --> 00:49:54,302
which there is no excuse
for eating with a cake fork.

555
00:49:54,302 --> 00:49:58,260
To serve it with a cake fork
is irritatingly unmanly,

556
00:49:58,260 --> 00:50:01,093
not to say downright feminine.

557
00:50:03,260 --> 00:50:07,010
However, it can bring us
further with the story.

558
00:50:08,468 --> 00:50:13,510
I also knew someone who
consumed rugelach every day,

559
00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:16,302
almost ritually,
with a cake fork.

560
00:50:17,093 --> 00:50:19,802
And although we'll be
jumping a bit in time,

561
00:50:21,677 --> 00:50:23,843
I have to tell you about Jerome.

562
00:50:24,552 --> 00:50:26,343
As far as I can see,
the next chapter

563
00:50:26,343 --> 00:50:29,010
doesn't contain
as direct an accusation

564
00:50:29,010 --> 00:50:32,635
against my person
as the rest of the story.

565
00:50:32,635 --> 00:50:35,593
But as you've read
a great deal, apparently,

566
00:50:35,593 --> 00:50:38,218
you know that in a story
things have to be good

567
00:50:38,218 --> 00:50:40,010
before they can be bad.

568
00:50:44,177 --> 00:50:48,135
The chapter will also make
a sentimental soul like you happy

569
00:50:48,135 --> 00:50:52,718
as it contains observations
on the subject of love.

570
00:52:10,927 --> 00:52:12,843
Can I tell you something?

571
00:52:14,927 --> 00:52:17,010
Sure.

572
00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:20,177
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure.

573
00:52:20,177 --> 00:52:22,052
It might not be important to you...

574
00:52:22,052 --> 00:52:24,718
But it is to me.

575
00:52:26,343 --> 00:52:28,427
I've never had an orgasm before.

576
00:52:32,010 --> 00:52:33,760
Really?

577
00:52:38,218 --> 00:52:39,760
You're my first one.

578
00:52:42,552 --> 00:52:44,302
You don't know how happy
that makes me.

579
00:52:48,885 --> 00:52:50,093
I love you.

580
00:52:55,385 --> 00:52:57,260
You're my first.

581
00:53:01,718 --> 00:53:03,260
Well, I have to admit,

582
00:53:03,968 --> 00:53:05,718
quite a lot of girls say that.

583
00:53:08,718 --> 00:53:11,802
The train trip
had increased my appetite,

584
00:53:11,802 --> 00:53:14,343
and soon B and I started a club

585
00:53:14,343 --> 00:53:17,052
that we called
"The Little Flock."

586
00:53:18,510 --> 00:53:22,010
Mea vulva, mea maxima vulva.

587
00:53:22,010 --> 00:53:23,385
B, of course, took the lead

588
00:53:23,385 --> 00:53:25,177
as she was the most
daring of us.

589
00:53:26,135 --> 00:53:28,927
She was raised Catholic.
I'm sure you're familiar

590
00:53:28,927 --> 00:53:31,843
with the practices
of the Catholic Church.

591
00:53:31,843 --> 00:53:36,135
mea maxima vulva.
Mea vulva, mea...

592
00:53:36,135 --> 00:53:37,760
That's interesting.

593
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,843
Blasphemic, satanic.

594
00:53:42,343 --> 00:53:46,302
The music. The interval
between "B" and "F."

595
00:53:46,302 --> 00:53:49,052
It's a tritone.
The devil’s interval.

596
00:53:50,218 --> 00:53:52,593
It was banned from music
in the Middle Ages.

597
00:53:54,052 --> 00:53:56,760
Well, the Vacuum Cleaner invented it.

598
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,635
She took piano lessons.

599
00:53:59,468 --> 00:54:00,927
Vacuum Cleaner?

600
00:54:00,927 --> 00:54:04,760
The Vacuum Cleaner possessed
a special talent for floppy cocks.

601
00:54:06,093 --> 00:54:08,885
She had some kind of vacuum
in her cunt.

602
00:54:09,427 --> 00:54:11,760
I was imagining something like that.

603
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,677
Fourteenth of the eighth.

604
00:54:14,677 --> 00:54:17,385
I was at a place called The Donkey.

605
00:54:17,385 --> 00:54:20,593
The boys were staring,
University hangout.

606
00:54:20,593 --> 00:54:22,677
I approached the stupidest
one of the lot

607
00:54:22,677 --> 00:54:25,302
and asked for directions
to the underground.

608
00:54:25,302 --> 00:54:27,093
He studied literature.

609
00:54:27,635 --> 00:54:31,302
I told him I read a lot,
and that I really admired people

610
00:54:31,302 --> 00:54:33,552
that chose to study subjects
in depth.

611
00:54:34,635 --> 00:54:36,927
As I said, he was very stupid.

612
00:54:36,927 --> 00:54:38,718
Told me all about Kierkegaard.

613
00:54:38,718 --> 00:54:40,552
I nodded, smiled.

614
00:54:40,552 --> 00:54:42,177
Then he asked
if we could go elsewhere.

615
00:54:42,177 --> 00:54:45,760
The idiot thought he'd pulled me
after five minutes of his bullshit.

616
00:54:46,343 --> 00:54:48,385
I told him I was on my period,

617
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:52,427
and I took out his cock
and gave him a hand job.

618
00:54:54,593 --> 00:54:57,510
Ugly, little shriveled cock,
with a tight foreskin.

619
00:54:59,093 --> 00:55:01,052
When I pulled it back,
it sort of collapsed

620
00:55:01,052 --> 00:55:05,177
but it worked in the end.
University boys are disgusting.

621
00:55:05,177 --> 00:55:07,552
And then I jacked him off
until he shook

622
00:55:07,552 --> 00:55:10,593
in that way they do, you know.
Just before they come.

623
00:55:11,385 --> 00:55:13,552
Then I let go of his cock and got up.

624
00:55:13,552 --> 00:55:17,302
I left him standing up against the wall

625
00:55:17,302 --> 00:55:20,718
with his pants round his ankles
looking stunned.

626
00:55:22,677 --> 00:55:26,593
Now, B's message wasn't
exactly representational.

627
00:55:26,593 --> 00:55:28,885
She just had to be the tough one.

628
00:55:30,802 --> 00:55:32,468
It was directed at the men.

629
00:55:33,677 --> 00:55:37,427
It was about fucking,
and about having the right to be horny.

630
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,843
We masturbated together,
that kind of thing.

631
00:55:43,427 --> 00:55:44,968
But it was rebellious.

632
00:55:47,510 --> 00:55:49,093
We weren't allowed
to have boyfriends.

633
00:55:49,093 --> 00:55:51,552
No fucking the same guy
more than once.

634
00:55:52,135 --> 00:55:56,843
You said you were rebellious.
What did you rebel against?

635
00:55:57,343 --> 00:55:58,177
Love.

636
00:56:00,218 --> 00:56:01,093
Love?

637
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:05,510
We were committed to combat
the love-fixated society.

638
00:56:24,927 --> 00:56:27,635
I really believed
in our Little Flock.

639
00:56:27,635 --> 00:56:30,177
But of course,
that was naive of me.

640
00:56:30,802 --> 00:56:33,760
Over time, even the strongest

641
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:36,302
couldn't stay true to our manifest.

642
00:56:36,302 --> 00:56:40,385
Third of the fifth.
My third intercourse this week,

643
00:56:40,385 --> 00:56:42,177
- again with Alex.
- Third?

644
00:56:44,885 --> 00:56:48,093
Haven't we stated that
we fuck each guy once?

645
00:56:48,093 --> 00:56:50,677
Yes, but he was rather sweet.

646
00:56:51,635 --> 00:56:52,677
Sweet?

647
00:56:53,510 --> 00:56:56,718
- Well, you know, sexy.
- Well, then, say sexy.

648
00:56:58,843 --> 00:57:00,385
He squeezed my earlobes.

649
00:57:00,385 --> 00:57:03,593
Earlobes? Great.
What else did he squeeze?

650
00:57:06,718 --> 00:57:10,052
I don't think
you can understand Alex.

651
00:57:10,677 --> 00:57:12,260
I don't want to.

652
00:57:12,260 --> 00:57:14,760
- Our relationship—
- Relationship.

653
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:15,927
There you are.

654
00:57:17,093 --> 00:57:20,802
The way you're describing it,
which should be full of lust,

655
00:57:20,802 --> 00:57:23,885
is just a nauseating analysis
of his future abilities

656
00:57:23,885 --> 00:57:25,968
as a father to your child.

657
00:57:25,968 --> 00:57:29,802
You think you know
everything about sex.

658
00:57:33,718 --> 00:57:37,677
The secret ingredient
to sex is love.

659
00:57:43,677 --> 00:57:48,302
For me, love was just lust
with jealousy added.

660
00:57:49,093 --> 00:57:51,302
Everything else was total nonsense.

661
00:57:52,010 --> 00:57:56,302
For every 100 crimes committed
in the name of love,

662
00:57:56,302 --> 00:57:58,927
only one is committed
in the name of sex.

663
00:58:00,552 --> 00:58:02,093
That's quite a statement.

664
00:58:02,093 --> 00:58:06,260
Well, it all strengthened my
wish for a serious education.

665
00:58:31,343 --> 00:58:33,302
Glasgow.

666
00:58:36,968 --> 00:58:38,052
Aberdeen.

667
00:58:40,010 --> 00:58:41,510
Why are you smiling?

668
00:58:42,260 --> 00:58:44,593
Well, I just pictured

669
00:58:44,593 --> 00:58:47,593
how an education would be
conveyed in your storytelling.

670
00:58:48,802 --> 00:58:50,677
Well, that's nothing to smile about.

671
00:58:51,718 --> 00:58:53,177
Oh, I understand that.

672
00:58:54,802 --> 00:58:56,927
So what kind of education
did you get?

673
00:58:57,802 --> 00:59:01,177
I began studying medicine,
like my father.

674
00:59:01,177 --> 00:59:05,302
Today we are going to perform the
procedure that's called an abortion.

675
00:59:05,302 --> 00:59:09,635
We open up our cervical channel
to enter the uterus,

676
00:59:09,635 --> 00:59:11,968
and to get access to the fetus,

677
00:59:11,968 --> 00:59:15,260
for which we use
the so-called Hegal sticks.

678
00:59:15,260 --> 00:59:19,427
We enter the vagina tract,
and go into the cervical channel.

679
00:59:20,468 --> 00:59:22,427
We start with a small sized stick

680
00:59:22,427 --> 00:59:25,718
to cause a minimum of damage
to the tissue.

681
00:59:25,718 --> 00:59:29,177
And then we increase
the size of the stick.

682
00:59:29,177 --> 00:59:32,302
But it was harder and
harder for me to concentrate,

683
00:59:32,302 --> 00:59:36,552
so I studied less and less,
till finally I dropped out.

684
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:42,635
My dad was very disappointed
when I stopped.

685
00:59:43,552 --> 00:59:46,177
But it was the only time
I saw my mother really smile

686
00:59:46,177 --> 00:59:49,177
when she said,
"What did I tell you?"

687
00:59:52,427 --> 00:59:54,968
So instead, I began
to look for a job.

688
00:59:56,635 --> 00:59:59,468
It turned out
it was hard to get a job

689
00:59:59,468 --> 01:00:02,093
that paid even halfway decently.

690
01:00:03,177 --> 01:00:06,510
I didn't really know
how to do anything.

691
01:00:06,510 --> 01:00:09,677
So I didn't have high hopes
when I applied for a position

692
01:00:09,677 --> 01:00:12,343
as an assistant
at a printing house.

693
01:00:13,468 --> 01:00:15,927
So, could you tell me
a little bit more

694
01:00:15,927 --> 01:00:19,093
about your background?

695
01:00:19,093 --> 01:00:20,927
Um...

696
01:00:20,927 --> 01:00:24,385
- Education-wise.
- Oh.

697
01:00:24,385 --> 01:00:29,718
Well, I finished high school,
and decided to study medicine.

698
01:00:30,552 --> 01:00:32,718
But I didn't finish.

699
01:00:32,718 --> 01:00:35,385
I know it sounds a bit
pointless coming here.

700
01:00:35,385 --> 01:00:37,968
- Right.
- I just really need a job.

701
01:00:37,968 --> 01:00:40,052
And I've tried everywhere.

702
01:00:40,052 --> 01:00:43,677
I don't usually give jobs to people
just because they need one.

703
01:00:45,093 --> 01:00:49,718
What about secretarial skills?
Do you have any of those?

704
01:00:49,718 --> 01:00:52,302
No, I didn't think
you needed skills.

705
01:00:54,093 --> 01:00:56,927
You didn't think you needed
skills for this position

706
01:00:56,927 --> 01:00:59,302
- as a secretary?
- No.

707
01:00:59,802 --> 01:01:01,635
Can you open an envelope?

708
01:01:02,260 --> 01:01:05,468
Yes, I... Yes, I think
I can open an envelope.

709
01:01:05,468 --> 01:01:07,468
Well, I'm glad to hear that.

710
01:01:08,718 --> 01:01:13,260
I shall discuss this conversation
with Mr. Jerome, my boss.

711
01:01:15,927 --> 01:01:19,010
Do you think
there's a chance?

712
01:01:20,010 --> 01:01:23,010
- I doubt it.
- Oh.

713
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:47,218
Well, apparently,
having absolutely no experience

714
01:01:48,010 --> 01:01:50,177
is absolutely fine for this job.

715
01:01:50,177 --> 01:01:51,343
You've got it.

716
01:01:54,177 --> 01:01:56,260
Does that mean
I should start tomorrow?

717
01:01:57,135 --> 01:01:58,718
Yeah, I suppose it does.

718
01:02:01,010 --> 01:02:02,968
- Good morning.
- Right.

719
01:02:10,302 --> 01:02:12,552
Yes?

720
01:02:15,843 --> 01:02:17,802
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.

721
01:02:17,802 --> 01:02:20,427
I just wanted to introduce you
to our new junior secretary.

722
01:02:20,427 --> 01:02:23,302
Joe? I believe you wanted
to explain her work duties.

723
01:02:23,302 --> 01:02:24,968
- Hi.
- This is the new junior secretary.

724
01:02:24,968 --> 01:02:26,593
Liz, can I have another coffee?

725
01:02:26,593 --> 01:02:27,885
- Yes, of course, sir.
- Thank you.

726
01:02:31,260 --> 01:02:32,093
Hi.

727
01:02:36,218 --> 01:02:39,218
- Jerome.
- Your first love.

728
01:02:45,260 --> 01:02:47,927
I bet you didn't think I'd make
something of myself, right?

729
01:02:47,927 --> 01:02:49,552
And now, here I sit.

730
01:02:49,552 --> 01:02:51,760
The director's chair
of M and J Morris, Ltd.

731
01:02:56,093 --> 01:02:58,177
- Yeah, it's quite surprising.
- Surprising?

732
01:02:58,968 --> 01:03:00,510
It's a sign from God.

733
01:03:05,427 --> 01:03:07,260
You know, I've thought
about you often since then.

734
01:03:09,052 --> 01:03:10,718
Have you thought of me?

735
01:03:13,635 --> 01:03:15,885
- Well...
- What?

736
01:03:16,802 --> 01:03:19,427
Usually, you know,
my uncle sits here.

737
01:03:19,427 --> 01:03:21,052
But he's developed a bit
of a tummy problem,

738
01:03:21,052 --> 01:03:22,760
so he's at the spa,
taking long baths,

739
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:26,177
drinking lots of water, poor guy.
And no one knows for how long.

740
01:03:26,177 --> 01:03:29,677
So now I'm the "J"
in M and J Morris, Ltd.

741
01:03:29,677 --> 01:03:31,468
How about that?

742
01:03:31,468 --> 01:03:34,302
We print cards and envelopes,
nonsense like that.

743
01:03:35,135 --> 01:03:37,010
It's a bloody complicated
business, you know.

744
01:03:37,010 --> 01:03:38,427
I don't understand a word of it.

745
01:03:39,677 --> 01:03:42,468
Come, I'll show you around. Yes?

746
01:03:42,468 --> 01:03:44,135
- Ladies?
- Yes, sir.

747
01:03:44,135 --> 01:03:46,343
Oh, look, there you are.
Good job.

748
01:03:46,343 --> 01:03:48,718
Every time you do a good job,
I say, "Good job, Liz."

749
01:03:48,718 --> 01:03:50,552
- Thank you, sir.
- What's her name?

750
01:03:50,552 --> 01:03:52,385
- Liz.
- Good job, Liz.

751
01:03:52,385 --> 01:03:54,427
- Good job, Liz.
- Good job, Liz.

752
01:04:13,302 --> 01:04:15,010
It stopped.

753
01:04:15,010 --> 01:04:16,427
Fuck.

754
01:04:19,968 --> 01:04:21,010
Yes.

755
01:04:22,968 --> 01:04:25,427
- Well, isn't there an alarm?
- Which?

756
01:04:26,093 --> 01:04:28,510
- Isn't there...
- Alarm, right, yes.

757
01:04:28,510 --> 01:04:31,260
Good thinking.

758
01:04:34,718 --> 01:04:35,802
Imagine...

759
01:04:36,718 --> 01:04:39,135
you look just as great
all these years later.

760
01:04:39,677 --> 01:04:40,802
Oh, no.

761
01:04:45,010 --> 01:04:47,468
- No.
- No?

762
01:04:49,677 --> 01:04:51,302
No, Jerome, this won't work.

763
01:04:51,302 --> 01:04:53,885
- Which won't work?
- This.

764
01:04:56,593 --> 01:04:57,635
Why not?

765
01:04:58,802 --> 01:05:00,177
You're not really my type.

766
01:05:02,843 --> 01:05:04,010
That's how it's gonna be?

767
01:05:04,802 --> 01:05:06,760
- Yes.
- All right.

768
01:05:13,385 --> 01:05:14,635
Fuck's sake.

769
01:05:24,468 --> 01:05:25,427
Okay.

770
01:05:35,427 --> 01:05:37,093
Um...

771
01:05:37,093 --> 01:05:38,343
Give me your hand.

772
01:05:39,427 --> 01:05:41,468
We'll do fireman's grip.

773
01:05:43,510 --> 01:05:45,010
- You okay?
- Yeah.

774
01:05:48,343 --> 01:05:49,802
Why didn't you
have sex with him?

775
01:05:51,968 --> 01:05:54,260
You must have had sex
in a lift before.

776
01:05:56,468 --> 01:06:00,427
I'm not quite sure.
I've shagged lots of idiots.

777
01:06:00,427 --> 01:06:03,052
Including worse idiots than him.

778
01:06:05,218 --> 01:06:06,802
Of course, I...

779
01:06:06,802 --> 01:06:09,802
I regretted that it had
been him back then.

780
01:06:10,843 --> 01:06:13,510
But that's just sentimental drivel.

781
01:06:13,510 --> 01:06:14,802
And I'm not sentimental.

782
01:06:16,093 --> 01:06:18,052
I suppose he fired you then.

783
01:06:18,052 --> 01:06:21,468
No. If he had fired me,
then he would have lost.

784
01:06:24,802 --> 01:06:26,552
As I didn't recall anyone

785
01:06:26,552 --> 01:06:28,427
having defined my work duties,

786
01:06:28,427 --> 01:06:32,177
I decided to clean up in order
to smooth the waters.

787
01:06:40,052 --> 01:06:41,427
Good morning, sir.

788
01:06:41,427 --> 01:06:43,427
- Any calls?
- No, sir.

789
01:06:49,843 --> 01:06:53,718
- What have you done?
- Oh. I cleaned up.

790
01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:56,010
You cleaned up.

791
01:06:57,093 --> 01:06:58,677
- It was quite messy, and—
- Liz?

792
01:06:58,677 --> 01:07:01,510
- Yes, sir?
- She cleaned up.

793
01:07:02,135 --> 01:07:04,427
I know, I... I didn't know, sir.

794
01:07:04,427 --> 01:07:06,552
- I was away from my desk.
- Are you completely mad?

795
01:07:13,427 --> 01:07:15,468
What is the tea
and pastry doing here?

796
01:07:16,135 --> 01:07:17,427
I thought that's
what you wanted for—

797
01:07:17,427 --> 01:07:20,718
You thought?
You're not supposed to think.

798
01:07:20,718 --> 01:07:23,135
I don't pay you to think, do I?
This is a do-over.

799
01:07:23,135 --> 01:07:24,677
- A do-over...
- Right.

800
01:07:24,677 --> 01:07:27,427
Pick it up. Take it outside.
And do it again.

801
01:07:39,843 --> 01:07:42,093
One moment.

802
01:07:50,468 --> 01:07:51,760
Come in.

803
01:07:54,968 --> 01:07:57,260
Would now be a good time
for some tea and cake?

804
01:07:57,260 --> 01:07:58,552
Sure, why not?

805
01:08:01,468 --> 01:08:03,218
Where the fuck's my cake fork?

806
01:08:03,218 --> 01:08:05,135
- Cake fork?
- Right.

807
01:08:05,135 --> 01:08:09,677
Well, I would have got you one,
but it just... feels inappropriate.

808
01:08:27,302 --> 01:08:29,260
Unmanly.

809
01:08:29,260 --> 01:08:30,718
Feminine.

810
01:08:30,718 --> 01:08:32,677
Well, on the other hand,

811
01:08:32,677 --> 01:08:36,760
you must say that a cake fork
is a rather practical tool.

812
01:08:38,677 --> 01:08:41,968
It's like a cross between
a knife and a fork.

813
01:08:42,593 --> 01:08:44,760
The point is that you're
supposed to be able

814
01:08:44,760 --> 01:08:46,760
to hold the cake dish
with one hand

815
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:48,427
and then cut it with the other.

816
01:08:49,135 --> 01:08:52,635
And then eat it with the fork.

817
01:08:52,635 --> 01:08:55,510
It's not feminine,
it's at least bourgeois.

818
01:08:56,427 --> 01:08:58,885
It's said that the Bolsheviks,

819
01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:01,093
during their rampage
through Russia,

820
01:09:01,093 --> 01:09:02,802
to separate the men from the boys,

821
01:09:02,802 --> 01:09:05,718
or rather the bourgeoisie
from the proletariat,

822
01:09:05,718 --> 01:09:08,885
they brought a boy,
and before burning down a house

823
01:09:08,885 --> 01:09:12,427
they sent him in to make sure
they had cake forks.

824
01:09:17,177 --> 01:09:20,093
That's not true.

825
01:09:22,427 --> 01:09:24,635
I don't have the story first-hand.

826
01:09:24,635 --> 01:09:25,927
Hello.

827
01:09:26,843 --> 01:09:28,718
- Hi.
- Hi.

828
01:09:28,718 --> 01:09:31,218
I was wondering
if you could help me.

829
01:09:31,218 --> 01:09:34,843
It's suddenly gone very dirty.
See, yes?

830
01:09:34,843 --> 01:09:38,385
See, you've got your dirty
fingers on there.

831
01:09:38,385 --> 01:09:40,468
Maybe we should
wash your hands.

832
01:09:40,468 --> 01:09:41,968
Yeah, better.

833
01:09:44,468 --> 01:09:46,177
Mm-hmm.

834
01:09:46,177 --> 01:09:48,927
- You must be very talented.
- Yeah, sure.

835
01:09:48,927 --> 01:09:49,677
Hmm.

836
01:09:50,427 --> 01:09:53,302
You see, here's got a stain.

837
01:10:05,385 --> 01:10:07,177
If you'd asked
Jerome, he would have said

838
01:10:07,177 --> 01:10:09,302
that I was the one
who'd declared war.

839
01:10:11,843 --> 01:10:16,052
Many times he'd take me into town
just so I could hold his coat.

840
01:10:16,927 --> 01:10:19,093
- There.
- Where?

841
01:10:19,093 --> 01:10:21,052
There, behind the green car.

842
01:10:23,635 --> 01:10:26,010
- It's not big enough.
- It is, there's plenty of space.

843
01:10:29,343 --> 01:10:31,427
I saw it, it's not enough space.

844
01:10:31,427 --> 01:10:33,677
I'm telling you,
there's plenty of space.

845
01:10:46,427 --> 01:10:49,802
No. It's too small a space
for such a long car.

846
01:10:52,677 --> 01:10:54,260
Can I try?

847
01:10:55,885 --> 01:10:59,302
- Can you try?
- I'm a wizard at this.

848
01:10:59,302 --> 01:11:00,843
I just tried, it's not enough space, Joe.

849
01:11:00,843 --> 01:11:03,552
You just saw me do it.
It's not enough space, okay?

850
01:11:04,427 --> 01:11:07,385
- Can I try?
- Fuck. You want to try?

851
01:11:09,968 --> 01:11:11,093
Why not?

852
01:11:26,010 --> 01:11:27,385
Stupid.

853
01:12:06,385 --> 01:12:09,677
It was about
this time that a dramatic change

854
01:12:09,677 --> 01:12:11,593
happened inside of me.

855
01:12:13,010 --> 01:12:17,552
I could suddenly see a kind
of order in the mess.

856
01:12:29,010 --> 01:12:31,218
Are you just standing here looking?

857
01:12:34,010 --> 01:12:36,718
Yeah. I've begun to like his mess.

858
01:12:37,510 --> 01:12:39,135
How do you mean?

859
01:12:40,552 --> 01:12:43,510
Well, these are all things
placed by Jerome.

860
01:12:44,177 --> 01:12:46,052
I mean, by Jerome's hands.

861
01:12:46,927 --> 01:12:50,510
Sounds to me like you would like
to be handled by Mr. Jerome.

862
01:12:52,385 --> 01:12:54,635
Darling, you're in love with him.

863
01:12:59,593 --> 01:13:01,968
It was all very, very wrong.

864
01:13:03,385 --> 01:13:05,968
I wanted to be one of Jerome's things.

865
01:13:06,802 --> 01:13:11,468
I wanted to be picked up
and put down, again and again.

866
01:13:12,843 --> 01:13:15,427
I wanted to be
treated by his hands

867
01:13:15,427 --> 01:13:18,552
according to some
sophisticated principle

868
01:13:18,552 --> 01:13:20,635
that I didn't understand.

869
01:13:21,218 --> 01:13:23,010
His strong hands?

870
01:13:23,010 --> 01:13:26,968
Yes, but now it was no longer
just about his hands.

871
01:13:26,968 --> 01:13:30,218
It's as if everything
about him was different,

872
01:13:31,052 --> 01:13:34,260
which, of course, it wasn't
and I knew that in my head.

873
01:13:34,260 --> 01:13:37,968
And I scolded myself
for seeing him in this new light.

874
01:13:38,927 --> 01:13:42,968
- Love is blind.
- No, no, no, it's worse.

875
01:13:44,010 --> 01:13:45,802
Love distorts things.

876
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:49,677
Or even worse...
love is something

877
01:13:49,677 --> 01:13:51,343
you've never asked for.

878
01:13:52,843 --> 01:13:57,177
The erotic was something I asked for,
or even demanded of men.

879
01:13:57,177 --> 01:13:59,927
But this idiotic love...

880
01:14:01,760 --> 01:14:03,802
I felt humiliated by it,

881
01:14:04,468 --> 01:14:07,177
and all the dishonesty that follows.

882
01:14:09,718 --> 01:14:12,010
The erotic is about saying yes.

883
01:14:13,760 --> 01:14:16,927
Love appeals to
the lowest instincts,

884
01:14:16,927 --> 01:14:18,843
wrapped up in lies.

885
01:14:19,593 --> 01:14:23,427
How do you say "yes"
when you mean "no," and vice versa.

886
01:14:27,218 --> 01:14:29,552
I'm ashamed of what I became.

887
01:14:30,843 --> 01:14:32,552
But it was beyond my control.

888
01:14:34,718 --> 01:14:38,968
- You know what you're doing now?
- No, what am I doing?

889
01:14:39,510 --> 01:14:41,760
You're defending your personality.

890
01:14:42,552 --> 01:14:44,885
I thought the point was to reveal it.

891
01:14:57,010 --> 01:15:01,177
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

892
01:15:03,427 --> 01:15:05,052
Thank you meaning, "That's all."

893
01:15:08,802 --> 01:15:12,302
You can go now.
Goodbye, Joe.

894
01:15:26,468 --> 01:15:30,052
At this time,
I took up walking again.

895
01:15:30,052 --> 01:15:31,635
You walked in the forest?

896
01:15:31,635 --> 01:15:34,093
Yes, I walked in the forest.

897
01:15:39,468 --> 01:15:42,052
The forest of my childhood.

898
01:15:43,260 --> 01:15:46,302
I took the same walk
again and again.

899
01:15:46,885 --> 01:15:49,927
Right turn after the gatehouse,

900
01:15:49,927 --> 01:15:52,802
and right again by the ash tree,

901
01:15:52,802 --> 01:15:55,510
which has the most beautiful leaves
in the forest,

902
01:15:57,218 --> 01:16:00,927
and further on,
past a lady with her poodle,

903
01:16:00,927 --> 01:16:03,677
and the old man on the bench.

904
01:16:11,010 --> 01:16:14,260
I couldn't free myself
of the image of Jerome

905
01:16:14,260 --> 01:16:16,218
and his careless elegance.

906
01:16:21,635 --> 01:16:26,135
And during this time,
when I was with other men,

907
01:16:26,927 --> 01:16:30,302
I forbade them to touch
my body with their hands.

908
01:16:33,927 --> 01:16:37,593
And soon, I stopped
having sex altogether.

909
01:16:39,718 --> 01:16:42,052
I tried to meet him all the time.

910
01:16:42,593 --> 01:16:44,802
I found out where he lived,

911
01:16:45,468 --> 01:16:48,177
but of course,
never dared ring his doorbell.

912
01:16:51,802 --> 01:16:55,135
I even started humiliating
myself on purpose

913
01:16:55,135 --> 01:16:57,260
in order for him to notice me.

914
01:17:17,510 --> 01:17:19,427
You broke a taillight.

915
01:17:21,010 --> 01:17:22,093
I did.

916
01:17:23,468 --> 01:17:25,677
I thought you were such
a wizard at parking.

917
01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:27,927
So did I.

918
01:17:28,927 --> 01:17:30,885
It'll be deducted from your salary.

919
01:17:34,343 --> 01:17:35,843
It's a long car.

920
01:17:39,510 --> 01:17:42,385
I worked for
a long time on a letter

921
01:17:42,385 --> 01:17:45,343
in which I told him about
my feelings for him,

922
01:17:45,343 --> 01:17:48,135
but couldn't bring myself
to hand it over.

923
01:17:50,885 --> 01:17:52,635
- Bye.
- Bye. Bye.

924
01:17:53,302 --> 01:17:54,885
A month would pass

925
01:17:54,885 --> 01:17:58,760
before I had built up
enough courage to deliver it.

926
01:18:23,885 --> 01:18:26,135
Well, I've written him
a letter after all.

927
01:18:28,052 --> 01:18:31,343
Do you think that the letter
is a bad idea?

928
01:18:34,093 --> 01:18:36,885
No, I think it's
the right thing to do.

929
01:18:36,885 --> 01:18:42,260
I'm just... I think maybe
you should wait until Friday.

930
01:18:42,260 --> 01:18:43,385
Why?

931
01:18:44,343 --> 01:18:46,427
He's always in a good mood
on Fridays.

932
01:18:47,802 --> 01:18:48,968
Okay.

933
01:19:08,552 --> 01:19:12,677
I'm sorry, isn't this...
Jerome's office?

934
01:19:12,677 --> 01:19:16,510
I'm happy to say that this
never has been

935
01:19:16,510 --> 01:19:18,802
and never will be Jerome's office.

936
01:19:19,302 --> 01:19:23,385
My nephew has been standing in for me
while I've been unwell.

937
01:19:23,885 --> 01:19:26,885
What's that? A letter for him?

938
01:19:28,093 --> 01:19:29,052
Yes.

939
01:19:29,052 --> 01:19:32,177
Give it to me
and I'll make sure he gets it.

940
01:19:36,802 --> 01:19:40,718
Can't promise when that might be
because he's long gone.

941
01:19:41,968 --> 01:19:45,468
How the young finance
their irrepressible desire

942
01:19:45,468 --> 01:19:47,218
for travel is a mystery to me.

943
01:19:48,260 --> 01:19:51,302
- So he's gone?
- Deserted us, yes.

944
01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:55,135
Raving about a trip around the world,

945
01:19:55,135 --> 01:19:57,510
- and married, and all.
- Married?

946
01:19:58,135 --> 01:19:59,343
Marriage, yes.

947
01:20:00,427 --> 01:20:02,760
Flown the coop with my secretary.

948
01:20:03,760 --> 01:20:04,635
Liz.

949
01:20:12,843 --> 01:20:14,427
And your job?

950
01:20:14,927 --> 01:20:17,260
Well, it turned out
that Jerome's uncle

951
01:20:17,260 --> 01:20:20,927
demanded a bit more knowledge
about the business, so...

952
01:20:20,927 --> 01:20:21,760
I see.

953
01:20:23,093 --> 01:20:25,635
Well, as for evidence of you
being a bad human being,

954
01:20:25,635 --> 01:20:27,802
there wasn't much to go on
in this chapter.

955
01:20:27,802 --> 01:20:31,927
Yes, as I said.
At least superficially.

956
01:20:33,343 --> 01:20:36,468
- I suppose you were jealous.
- No, I wasn't jealous.

957
01:20:36,468 --> 01:20:37,802
I didn't know that feeling.

958
01:20:39,302 --> 01:20:41,927
It's almost superhuman
not to feel jealousy.

959
01:20:43,427 --> 01:20:45,343
Well, that was the end of love, then?

960
01:20:47,343 --> 01:20:50,135
Well, maybe not quite as simple.

961
01:20:51,718 --> 01:20:56,885
But more about that later,
as they say in the novels.

962
01:20:56,885 --> 01:20:59,552
And Jerome just disappeared?

963
01:21:00,843 --> 01:21:05,927
Yes. Though I'd tried to keep him
in my own way, mentally,

964
01:21:05,927 --> 01:21:09,593
as I masturbated on the train
amongst other people.

965
01:21:11,927 --> 01:21:14,177
You masturbated on the train,
on the seat?

966
01:21:14,177 --> 01:21:17,260
- Yes, of course.
- And that's possible?

967
01:21:17,260 --> 01:21:21,343
Easily.
You just put your coat in your lap.

968
01:21:21,343 --> 01:21:25,718
It can be done silently
without expression.

969
01:21:25,718 --> 01:21:27,760
The only thing
that could give me away

970
01:21:27,760 --> 01:21:31,718
and mostly to women,
was my open mouth when I came.

971
01:21:46,052 --> 01:21:48,760
I did a jigsaw puzzle.

972
01:21:48,760 --> 01:21:50,760
Ajigsaw puzzle?

973
01:21:54,927 --> 01:21:58,093
I found details
in the other passengers

974
01:21:58,093 --> 01:22:00,260
that reminded me of Jerome.

975
01:22:55,052 --> 01:22:56,843
But in the long run,

976
01:22:56,843 --> 01:22:59,177
I couldn't hold onto
the details of him,

977
01:22:59,177 --> 01:23:01,552
no matter how hard I tried.

978
01:23:02,468 --> 01:23:04,260
So, you could say that in a way,

979
01:23:04,260 --> 01:23:07,927
Jerome followed you
as a kind of silhouette.

980
01:23:07,927 --> 01:23:11,635
Yes, but gradually disappearing
as a sexual being.

981
01:23:11,635 --> 01:23:16,843
Maybe that's how it is with memory.
You remember silhouettes.

982
01:23:16,843 --> 01:23:18,718
The essentials.

983
01:23:18,718 --> 01:23:21,593
But that's not necessarily
a bad thing.

984
01:23:25,802 --> 01:23:28,052
Of course
there's silhouettes in the winter.

985
01:23:28,052 --> 01:23:30,343
The trees are difficult
to tell apart.

986
01:23:30,343 --> 01:23:31,927
These buds...

987
01:23:31,927 --> 01:23:33,843
My father
wrestled courageously

988
01:23:33,843 --> 01:23:36,843
with his flora
and tree type guides.

989
01:23:38,593 --> 01:23:39,968
It's actually...

990
01:23:42,177 --> 01:23:45,843
the souls of the trees
we see in the winter.

991
01:23:46,468 --> 01:23:48,260
In summer, everything's
green and idyllic,

992
01:23:48,260 --> 01:23:53,093
but in the winter, the branches
and the trunks, they all stand out.

993
01:23:53,093 --> 01:23:55,302
Look at how crooked they all are.

994
01:23:57,260 --> 01:24:00,302
The branches have to carry
all of the leaves into the sunlight.

995
01:24:01,843 --> 01:24:04,760
It's one long struggle for survival.

996
01:24:08,010 --> 01:24:11,052
My father surprised
me by calling the naked trunks

997
01:24:11,052 --> 01:24:13,260
the souls of the trees.

998
01:24:14,010 --> 01:24:16,843
A poetic thought
that was rare for him,

999
01:24:16,843 --> 01:24:20,468
as by his own account, he preferred
the empirical sciences.

1000
01:24:24,260 --> 01:24:25,760
And after Jerome?

1001
01:24:27,135 --> 01:24:29,843
I reacted, um...

1002
01:24:29,843 --> 01:24:33,177
Well, let's just say... aggressively.

1003
01:24:34,260 --> 01:24:38,760
- How?
- By intensifying my hunt for men.

1004
01:24:41,593 --> 01:24:43,718
You know
these supermarket doors

1005
01:24:43,718 --> 01:24:46,635
that open and close by way
of some kind of sensor?

1006
01:24:47,468 --> 01:24:50,302
Now compare these doors
to my cunt,

1007
01:24:50,302 --> 01:24:53,552
and add an extraordinarily
sensitive sensor.

1008
01:24:55,718 --> 01:24:59,552
My sensitive door opening
gave me an opportunity

1009
01:24:59,552 --> 01:25:04,302
to develop my morphological studies
from knees to genitals.

1010
01:25:09,385 --> 01:25:14,385
I embarked on a trip through, what,
in the lingo of children's books,

1011
01:25:14,385 --> 01:25:18,177
one might call, "The Country
of the Big, Bad Cocks."

1012
01:25:20,802 --> 01:25:24,718
"The Country of the Small
Yellow Cocks," and so on.

1013
01:25:25,468 --> 01:25:27,718
And most of all, I battled my way

1014
01:25:27,718 --> 01:25:30,510
through an untold number
of circumcised cocks.

1015
01:25:32,385 --> 01:25:35,302
By the way, did you know
that if you combine

1016
01:25:35,302 --> 01:25:38,052
all the foreskin cut off
through history,

1017
01:25:38,052 --> 01:25:41,010
it would reach to Mars
and back again?

1018
01:26:00,218 --> 01:26:01,635
"Mrs. H."

1019
01:26:17,218 --> 01:26:20,302
By now, I had
built up a sizable circle of men,

1020
01:26:20,302 --> 01:26:24,135
and was starting to have trouble
remembering who was who.

1021
01:26:24,135 --> 01:26:26,177
Hello, sweetheart.
Want to meet?

1022
01:26:26,177 --> 01:26:27,885
It's Fisher.

1023
01:26:27,885 --> 01:26:30,843
I'm lying here thinking
of you and what you said.

1024
01:26:30,843 --> 01:26:33,010
I'm not angry at all if that's
what you're thinking.

1025
01:26:33,010 --> 01:26:35,552
Hi, Joe. It's Rob again.

1026
01:26:35,552 --> 01:26:37,260
I had a really
good time seeing you.

1027
01:26:37,260 --> 01:26:38,802
Give me a... Give me a call.

1028
01:26:38,802 --> 01:26:40,885
Hi, Joe.

1029
01:26:40,885 --> 01:26:43,302
I left a couple of messages.
Is everything all right?

1030
01:26:43,302 --> 01:26:46,010
I quickly gave up
trying to remember

1031
01:26:46,010 --> 01:26:50,718
the individual relationships.
It was impossible.

1032
01:26:50,718 --> 01:26:54,093
And impossible to predict
what they wanted to hear.

1033
01:26:55,427 --> 01:26:57,302
So I invented a method.

1034
01:27:00,843 --> 01:27:03,218
It was all based on chance.

1035
01:27:06,718 --> 01:27:09,677
A one meant
an overly loving answer.

1036
01:27:13,135 --> 01:27:16,302
A two, not quite as passionate,
but still positive.

1037
01:27:17,093 --> 01:27:20,385
And so on, up to five,
which was a complete rejection.

1038
01:27:20,385 --> 01:27:23,177
And six, no answer at all.

1039
01:27:25,843 --> 01:27:29,885
The trick with this method
was that I didn't have to worry about

1040
01:27:29,885 --> 01:27:31,968
the individual relationships,

1041
01:27:31,968 --> 01:27:35,177
but instead became
completely unpredictable,

1042
01:27:35,177 --> 01:27:38,302
which, of course,
drove the men even wilder.

1043
01:27:40,427 --> 01:27:42,177
Hey, Eddie, it's me.

1044
01:27:42,177 --> 01:27:44,052
Listen, I've given this
a lot of thought,

1045
01:27:44,052 --> 01:27:47,135
and I've come to the conclusion
that we're done. Bye.

1046
01:27:48,468 --> 01:27:51,552
I was just wondering
if you wanted to come back,

1047
01:27:51,552 --> 01:27:53,760
and maybe we can
do something nice.

1048
01:27:53,760 --> 01:27:56,510
Hi, Patrick, it's Joe.

1049
01:27:56,510 --> 01:28:00,135
I had a really lovely time with you,
and I'd love for you to come back.

1050
01:28:00,135 --> 01:28:03,468
If you're interested,
let me know. Bye.

1051
01:28:03,468 --> 01:28:07,343
I really don't think we match,
and you're quite annoying,

1052
01:28:08,260 --> 01:28:11,760
so I don't want to see you anymore.
Please don't call back.

1053
01:28:12,802 --> 01:28:14,885
That sounds rather stressful.

1054
01:28:14,885 --> 01:28:16,885
Yes, actually, it was.

1055
01:28:16,885 --> 01:28:20,760
But fortunately, I had
my little book of comfort.

1056
01:28:22,468 --> 01:28:28,135
When I needed comfort or peace,
I took out my herbarium

1057
01:28:28,135 --> 01:28:30,177
and looked at my favorite leaves.

1058
01:28:30,177 --> 01:28:34,552
Ash, trembling aspen and lime.

1059
01:28:42,635 --> 01:28:45,052
When you're dealing
with a larger group of lovers

1060
01:28:45,052 --> 01:28:49,927
as I was, there will typically be
a difference in their qualities.

1061
01:28:49,927 --> 01:28:52,260
H was a sticky bastard.

1062
01:28:52,260 --> 01:28:56,427
I had invited A for dinner,
as he was my favorite,

1063
01:28:56,427 --> 01:29:00,760
while H, who was present,
had become quite irritating.

1064
01:29:00,760 --> 01:29:03,093
You have to leave.
I've got guests for dinner.

1065
01:29:03,093 --> 01:29:04,760
But he's not coming until seven.

1066
01:29:05,968 --> 01:29:09,177
No. But seven isn't that far away.

1067
01:29:17,677 --> 01:29:19,302
Do you love me?

1068
01:29:21,885 --> 01:29:24,677
A was to arrive at seven,

1069
01:29:24,677 --> 01:29:27,343
and I needed to get H
out of there.

1070
01:29:30,177 --> 01:29:31,593
I love you too much.

1071
01:29:33,343 --> 01:29:36,552
You keep promising,
but I understand now

1072
01:29:36,552 --> 01:29:40,052
that you'll never leave
your family for my sake.

1073
01:29:42,135 --> 01:29:43,885
It's sad, but...

1074
01:29:45,968 --> 01:29:47,093
it's your choice.

1075
01:29:48,968 --> 01:29:52,135
It's not satisfying for me that
I can't have you completely.

1076
01:29:55,802 --> 01:29:58,385
Which is why we can't
see each other any longer.

1077
01:30:03,135 --> 01:30:04,135
Goodbye.

1078
01:30:08,718 --> 01:30:09,677
Look...

1079
01:30:14,885 --> 01:30:16,843
Have a nice life.

1080
01:30:42,885 --> 01:30:45,885
My darling, I'm yours.

1081
01:30:46,635 --> 01:30:47,843
I've left her.

1082
01:30:56,135 --> 01:30:59,010
- Has he gone inside?
- Yes.

1083
01:31:00,427 --> 01:31:02,135
Is the door closed?

1084
01:31:14,218 --> 01:31:16,718
- Uh, hello.
- Hello.

1085
01:31:16,718 --> 01:31:19,760
Apologize. We, uh...

1086
01:31:19,760 --> 01:31:22,427
had promised not to come up.

1087
01:31:22,427 --> 01:31:25,343
We just wanted to...

1088
01:31:25,343 --> 01:31:28,843
make sure he got here safely,
now that he's...

1089
01:31:28,843 --> 01:31:30,343
made the big decision.

1090
01:31:31,843 --> 01:31:35,760
May the children see him inside?

1091
01:31:35,760 --> 01:31:38,552
They say that the experience
of saying goodbye

1092
01:31:38,552 --> 01:31:41,468
can be very useful later
when dealing with trauma.

1093
01:31:58,468 --> 01:31:59,718
What a nice place.

1094
01:32:01,260 --> 01:32:04,135
It's, uh... so bohemian.

1095
01:32:05,718 --> 01:32:08,052
We used to have a place
like this before we were...

1096
01:32:08,052 --> 01:32:09,927
we were married.

1097
01:32:09,927 --> 01:32:13,343
Before the children,
me and my husband.

1098
01:32:14,760 --> 01:32:18,885
Oh, I'm sorry.
He isn't anymore, is he?

1099
01:32:19,718 --> 01:32:22,218
It's all so new and confusing.

1100
01:32:26,885 --> 01:32:29,927
He wanted to give us
everything, but, uh...

1101
01:32:31,135 --> 01:32:33,135
Of course we couldn't accept that.

1102
01:32:35,427 --> 01:32:36,885
Oh, that's right.

1103
01:32:37,760 --> 01:32:40,760
- You need the car key.
- No, I don't need the car.

1104
01:32:40,760 --> 01:32:42,802
Oh, yes, you do.

1105
01:32:42,802 --> 01:32:44,260
He likes the car.

1106
01:32:45,802 --> 01:32:47,468
Here.

1107
01:32:47,468 --> 01:32:49,510
- Please, just take it.
- I don't want it.

1108
01:32:49,510 --> 01:32:52,177
- Just take it.
- I don't want the fucking car!

1109
01:32:56,093 --> 01:32:59,802
It's all right.
We'll get the bus home.

1110
01:33:00,510 --> 01:33:03,468
Children might as well get used
to public transport now, right?

1111
01:33:04,677 --> 01:33:08,385
Of course, their standard of living
won't be the same anymore, but...

1112
01:33:12,843 --> 01:33:15,052
I'm not saying that
to bother anyone.

1113
01:33:16,093 --> 01:33:17,635
One has to be realistic.

1114
01:33:21,927 --> 01:33:23,135
Hey.

1115
01:33:25,343 --> 01:33:26,677
What's this?

1116
01:33:26,677 --> 01:33:28,552
It's a present.

1117
01:33:29,468 --> 01:33:32,635
A pillow he has embroidered himself.

1118
01:33:34,260 --> 01:33:36,052
- And who's it for?
- Daddy.

1119
01:33:38,135 --> 01:33:40,385
I do hope it's all right
if the children

1120
01:33:40,385 --> 01:33:41,885
call their father "Daddy" here.

1121
01:33:41,885 --> 01:33:45,593
If you prefer, they can call him...

1122
01:33:45,593 --> 01:33:49,718
"him," or simply, "the man."

1123
01:33:49,718 --> 01:33:52,260
Whatever.

1124
01:33:56,218 --> 01:33:57,843
"Whatever."

1125
01:33:59,093 --> 01:34:01,468
Must be hard when
you've got everything,

1126
01:34:02,385 --> 01:34:03,885
to know what to say.

1127
01:34:05,052 --> 01:34:07,052
To be honest,
my first thought was never,

1128
01:34:07,052 --> 01:34:09,218
ever to let either
of you see the children,

1129
01:34:09,218 --> 01:34:11,635
but then I changed my mind.

1130
01:34:11,635 --> 01:34:14,177
I thought it only right that
their father be confronted

1131
01:34:14,177 --> 01:34:16,635
by the little people
whose lives he's destroyed.

1132
01:34:18,760 --> 01:34:20,510
Give Daddy your present.

1133
01:34:24,218 --> 01:34:27,343
It's a car the little dear
has embroidered.

1134
01:34:29,302 --> 01:34:32,177
I'm aware that
not everyone can see it, but...

1135
01:34:32,177 --> 01:34:35,010
with the heart one can see much,

1136
01:34:35,010 --> 01:34:38,302
however unimportant that
information may be to you.

1137
01:34:40,218 --> 01:34:44,927
Would it be all right if I show
the children the whoring bed?

1138
01:34:44,927 --> 01:34:49,343
After all, they also had
a stake in this event.

1139
01:34:53,093 --> 01:34:55,135
You need to see it.
Right?

1140
01:34:56,177 --> 01:34:58,010
Let's go see
Daddy's favorite place.

1141
01:34:59,135 --> 01:35:01,260
Come on, boys.

1142
01:35:02,677 --> 01:35:04,552
Oh!

1143
01:35:06,885 --> 01:35:10,927
So this is where it all happened.

1144
01:35:17,427 --> 01:35:20,385
You should try to
memorize this room.

1145
01:35:21,052 --> 01:35:23,093
Especially the bed.

1146
01:35:23,718 --> 01:35:26,552
It'll stand you in good stead
later in therapy.

1147
01:35:26,552 --> 01:35:28,093
Oh.

1148
01:35:28,093 --> 01:35:30,677
Here I sit rambling on about therapy

1149
01:35:30,677 --> 01:35:32,843
without a thought
of what it might cost.

1150
01:35:32,843 --> 01:35:35,885
I do hope you don't think
we're here to beg.

1151
01:35:39,718 --> 01:35:41,302
I'm sorry.

1152
01:35:41,302 --> 01:35:43,677
I'm sorry.

1153
01:35:43,677 --> 01:35:46,260
Being silly. Mommy's being silly.

1154
01:35:46,927 --> 01:35:49,343
Let's have a cup of tea.

1155
01:36:08,052 --> 01:36:10,343
Hope it's not too weak.

1156
01:36:10,343 --> 01:36:13,052
Afraid I'm rather nervous.

1157
01:36:19,260 --> 01:36:23,010
The children's father likes
two lumps of sugar in his tea.

1158
01:36:41,343 --> 01:36:43,177
Mm-mm.
I'll get it.

1159
01:36:43,177 --> 01:36:45,385
Mm-mm.
- No, no, please, please.

1160
01:36:47,510 --> 01:36:50,093
- Hello.
- Hello.

1161
01:36:50,093 --> 01:36:52,093
- Yes?
- Uh...

1162
01:36:52,093 --> 01:36:54,635
How nice. Lovely.

1163
01:36:54,635 --> 01:36:58,135
- Boys, come here.
- Is Joe here?

1164
01:36:58,135 --> 01:36:59,302
This might be interesting.

1165
01:37:01,552 --> 01:37:02,885
- This is my son.
- Yes.

1166
01:37:02,885 --> 01:37:04,635
- Yes.
- Hello, hello.

1167
01:37:04,635 --> 01:37:07,260
- Look him in the eyes.
- I'm Andy. Hello.

1168
01:37:07,260 --> 01:37:09,302
- Friend of Joe's then?
- Yeah.

1169
01:37:09,302 --> 01:37:12,927
- You known each other long?
- Uh... Not that long, no.

1170
01:37:12,927 --> 01:37:14,760
- Not very long?
- No.

1171
01:37:14,760 --> 01:37:15,593
Oh.

1172
01:37:23,510 --> 01:37:25,760
A menage-a-trois.

1173
01:37:27,927 --> 01:37:30,093
It's all so exotic.

1174
01:37:30,093 --> 01:37:32,885
So broad-minded.

1175
01:37:34,593 --> 01:37:38,302
On that point... I failed.

1176
01:37:39,302 --> 01:37:40,635
No doubt about it.

1177
01:37:43,177 --> 01:37:47,093
Boys, now is the time to be alert,

1178
01:37:47,093 --> 01:37:50,593
and ask all the questions
your heart's desire.

1179
01:37:52,093 --> 01:37:54,677
Because...

1180
01:37:54,677 --> 01:37:57,968
I hope that you shall
never have to encounter

1181
01:37:57,968 --> 01:38:01,177
such people or be in such
a situation ever again.

1182
01:38:03,177 --> 01:38:06,718
Well, hmm?
You don't have any questions?

1183
01:38:07,677 --> 01:38:08,968
No?

1184
01:38:11,510 --> 01:38:14,302
Well, I'll start, shall I?

1185
01:38:14,302 --> 01:38:16,968
Approximately, how many lives...

1186
01:38:16,968 --> 01:38:20,385
do you think she has time
to destroy in one day?

1187
01:38:20,385 --> 01:38:23,468
Five? 50?

1188
01:38:24,593 --> 01:38:26,593
Or several hundreds?

1189
01:38:27,718 --> 01:38:30,760
I admit the latter sounds improbable,

1190
01:38:30,760 --> 01:38:34,593
but where there's a will
there's a way.

1191
01:38:42,885 --> 01:38:46,468
Look, this is just
a big misunderstanding.

1192
01:38:51,427 --> 01:38:52,927
Boys?

1193
01:38:55,177 --> 01:38:57,302
I don't... I don't love your father.

1194
01:38:58,760 --> 01:39:01,302
She's just saying that
to make us feel better.

1195
01:39:01,302 --> 01:39:03,135
I'm sure you understand that.

1196
01:39:03,927 --> 01:39:06,218
Because if it were a joke,
I mean...

1197
01:39:07,343 --> 01:39:12,135
If... this were really a joke,
then it would be a joke so cruel.

1198
01:39:17,635 --> 01:39:21,052
No one can be that cruel.

1199
01:39:24,510 --> 01:39:27,635
They say that even the Huns
on their rampage

1200
01:39:27,635 --> 01:39:31,385
were rather unreserved,
but to split up a family...

1201
01:39:34,802 --> 01:39:38,843
To destroy a mesh of feelings
woven over 20 years

1202
01:39:38,843 --> 01:39:41,885
is no joke, I can assure you.

1203
01:39:51,885 --> 01:39:53,135
Well...

1204
01:39:54,802 --> 01:39:57,593
If three's a crowd,
then seven must be

1205
01:39:57,593 --> 01:40:00,260
a bit of a challenge
for the pretty miss.

1206
01:40:02,385 --> 01:40:06,968
I must say I have a hard time
picturing her enjoying loneliness.

1207
01:40:09,385 --> 01:40:12,885
I think we better grab
the chance to get away

1208
01:40:12,885 --> 01:40:15,343
before things become grotesque.

1209
01:40:18,385 --> 01:40:21,427
No, no, no!

1210
01:40:24,010 --> 01:40:27,177
You wouldn't want to give your father
a guilty conscience now, would you?

1211
01:41:05,218 --> 01:41:07,385
So how did this episode
affect your life?

1212
01:41:08,760 --> 01:41:10,093
Not at all.

1213
01:41:12,302 --> 01:41:15,052
- Not at all?
- No.

1214
01:41:16,010 --> 01:41:19,052
You can't make an omelet
without breaking a few eggs.

1215
01:41:23,677 --> 01:41:25,510
Well, that's true.

1216
01:41:28,510 --> 01:41:32,093
Some people... blame the addict.

1217
01:41:32,093 --> 01:41:36,260
Other people feel sorry
for the addict.

1218
01:41:36,260 --> 01:41:40,927
But I was an addict out of lust,
not out of need.

1219
01:41:41,677 --> 01:41:43,468
You would say that, wouldn't you?

1220
01:41:44,343 --> 01:41:47,927
And lust that led to
destruction around me,

1221
01:41:47,927 --> 01:41:49,385
everywhere I went.

1222
01:41:51,093 --> 01:41:55,802
Well, addiction
sometimes leads to an...

1223
01:41:55,802 --> 01:41:57,635
absence of empathy.

1224
01:41:59,427 --> 01:42:00,802
You can't fight a lion

1225
01:42:00,802 --> 01:42:03,427
and blow the noses
of your children at the same time.

1226
01:42:06,010 --> 01:42:09,093
For me, nymphomania
was callousness.

1227
01:42:12,343 --> 01:42:14,052
You're very stubborn.

1228
01:42:15,010 --> 01:42:17,177
But what about yourself?

1229
01:42:18,093 --> 01:42:20,635
How did you feel during all this?

1230
01:42:30,593 --> 01:42:33,635
Did you feel good,
or did you feel bad?

1231
01:42:41,677 --> 01:42:44,343
It's funny because
when I think about my life

1232
01:42:44,343 --> 01:42:49,177
as a whole, I can only say
that I felt good.

1233
01:42:49,177 --> 01:42:53,885
But when I try and remember
a specific episode,

1234
01:42:53,885 --> 01:42:57,302
I'd say that just then
I felt rather bad.

1235
01:42:57,302 --> 01:42:58,885
In what way?

1236
01:43:04,552 --> 01:43:07,635
Mrs. H was right
about the loneliness.

1237
01:43:08,427 --> 01:43:12,718
I'd be lying if I said it hadn't
been my constant companion.

1238
01:43:15,552 --> 01:43:19,677
So you were with all
these men, and you still felt alone?

1239
01:43:26,802 --> 01:43:29,135
I didn't want to tell you about it.

1240
01:43:30,760 --> 01:43:33,260
But you've led me into a trap.

1241
01:43:36,510 --> 01:43:39,052
It was a certain feeling.

1242
01:43:43,927 --> 01:43:48,468
Oh, how awful that everything
has to be so trivial.

1243
01:43:57,968 --> 01:44:00,885
When I was seven
I had to have an operation.

1244
01:44:00,885 --> 01:44:04,177
Nothing serious, but it did
require anesthesia.

1245
01:44:06,385 --> 01:44:10,843
I had already been pre-medicated,
and was feeling all right.

1246
01:44:12,010 --> 01:44:15,010
But when I looked into the room
where the doctors and nurses

1247
01:44:15,010 --> 01:44:18,260
were preparing for the operation,

1248
01:44:18,260 --> 01:44:20,760
it was as if had to pass through

1249
01:44:20,760 --> 01:44:24,718
an impenetrable gate
all by myself.

1250
01:44:27,177 --> 01:44:29,885
It wasn't just that
I missed my mom.

1251
01:44:29,885 --> 01:44:32,427
I don't think I missed my dad,

1252
01:44:32,427 --> 01:44:34,218
even though he was
the nice one.

1253
01:44:35,052 --> 01:44:39,468
It was as if I was completely alone
in the universe.

1254
01:44:41,552 --> 01:44:46,343
As if my whole body was filled
with loneliness and tears.

1255
01:45:09,593 --> 01:45:13,385
And I'm still not allowed
to feel sorry for you?

1256
01:45:15,218 --> 01:45:16,968
Shall we go on?

1257
01:45:42,718 --> 01:45:44,718
What are you reading?

1258
01:45:44,718 --> 01:45:47,677
I'm not
reading it really, I'm just...

1259
01:45:47,677 --> 01:45:50,385
reacquainting myself
with Edgar Allan Poe.

1260
01:45:51,593 --> 01:45:52,760
I don't know him.

1261
01:45:54,177 --> 01:45:56,093
Well, he was a...

1262
01:45:58,093 --> 01:46:00,218
very anxiety-ridden man.

1263
01:46:06,302 --> 01:46:10,427
He died in the most fearful way
you can imagine,

1264
01:46:10,427 --> 01:46:12,427
in something called delirium tremens.

1265
01:46:15,510 --> 01:46:20,260
It occurs when the long-time
abuse of alcohol is followed by...

1266
01:46:20,260 --> 01:46:22,510
by a sudden abstinence.

1267
01:46:24,510 --> 01:46:28,093
Your body goes into some kind
of hyper-sensitive shock.

1268
01:46:29,093 --> 01:46:32,302
You can see the most
horrifying hallucinations

1269
01:46:32,302 --> 01:46:37,760
or rats and snakes, and cockroaches
coming out of the floor,

1270
01:46:37,760 --> 01:46:41,010
and worms slithering the walls.

1271
01:46:43,885 --> 01:46:47,635
One's entire nervous system
is on high alert,

1272
01:46:47,635 --> 01:46:50,260
and you have a constant
panic and paranoia.

1273
01:46:52,093 --> 01:46:54,635
And then the
circulatory system fails.

1274
01:46:55,468 --> 01:46:58,010
But the panic and horror...

1275
01:46:58,010 --> 01:47:01,010
remains until
the moment of death.

1276
01:47:17,552 --> 01:47:19,510
I know what delirium is.

1277
01:47:23,843 --> 01:47:25,177
"During the whole

1278
01:47:25,177 --> 01:47:26,927
of a dull, dark and soundless day

1279
01:47:26,927 --> 01:47:30,135
in the autumn of the year,
when the clouds hung

1280
01:47:30,135 --> 01:47:32,885
oppressively low in the heavens,

1281
01:47:32,885 --> 01:47:36,135
I had been passing alone
on horseback

1282
01:47:36,135 --> 01:47:39,843
through a singularly
dreary tract of country;

1283
01:47:39,843 --> 01:47:41,718
and at length found myself

1284
01:47:41,718 --> 01:47:44,635
as the shades of
the evening drew on,

1285
01:47:44,635 --> 01:47:48,760
within view of the melancholy
House of Usher."

1286
01:48:18,552 --> 01:48:20,427
Hey, Dad.

1287
01:48:32,093 --> 01:48:33,093
Hi, love.

1288
01:48:35,760 --> 01:48:37,093
How are you?

1289
01:48:39,010 --> 01:48:40,510
I fought with Mom.

1290
01:48:42,302 --> 01:48:44,802
She's... She's not coming.

1291
01:48:49,385 --> 01:48:51,843
You ought not to fight with her.

1292
01:48:51,843 --> 01:48:54,218
You know Kay's fear of hospitals.

1293
01:48:57,885 --> 01:49:00,093
I know
she's not coming.

1294
01:49:00,093 --> 01:49:02,802
We already said everything
we needed to say.

1295
01:49:05,760 --> 01:49:07,593
Kay and I said goodbye at home.

1296
01:49:09,093 --> 01:49:11,052
I don't want her here at all.

1297
01:49:14,510 --> 01:49:18,552
- I can't accept that.
- You'll have to.

1298
01:49:19,510 --> 01:49:22,302
She's a cowardly, stupid bitch.

1299
01:49:24,010 --> 01:49:25,468
No, she's not.

1300
01:49:26,718 --> 01:49:28,677
- Yeah.
- No, she's not.

1301
01:49:28,677 --> 01:49:30,218
- Yes.
- No, she's not.

1302
01:49:30,218 --> 01:49:32,802
Yes, she is.
You've never understood that.

1303
01:49:47,968 --> 01:49:49,635
Doesn't it scare you?

1304
01:49:51,635 --> 01:49:57,343
No.

1305
01:50:00,385 --> 01:50:02,552
How can you not be afraid?

1306
01:50:07,468 --> 01:50:09,468
I've seen so many die.

1307
01:50:11,843 --> 01:50:15,177
And there's that Epicurus quote

1308
01:50:15,177 --> 01:50:16,927
about not fearing death.

1309
01:50:18,343 --> 01:50:22,010
"When we are, death has not come.

1310
01:50:22,010 --> 01:50:26,468
When death has come... we are not."

1311
01:50:30,885 --> 01:50:33,093
You know it's going to happen.

1312
01:50:33,718 --> 01:50:37,177
I also know all the drugs
the doctors have to offer.

1313
01:50:37,177 --> 01:50:38,718
So, no.

1314
01:50:39,718 --> 01:50:41,635
I am not...

1315
01:50:41,635 --> 01:50:43,760
I am not afraid.

1316
01:50:45,677 --> 01:50:48,468
Hmm. My beautiful girl.

1317
01:50:50,427 --> 01:50:52,343
Beautiful dad.

1318
01:50:59,593 --> 01:51:01,385
Hello, Doctor.

1319
01:51:01,385 --> 01:51:04,427
Hello, Doctor.
This is my daughter Joe.

1320
01:51:04,427 --> 01:51:06,052
- Hey, Joe.
- Hi.

1321
01:51:08,802 --> 01:51:10,718
Do you need anything?

1322
01:51:10,718 --> 01:51:14,135
As I've said, I've decided to be

1323
01:51:14,135 --> 01:51:16,718
an exemplary patient,
completely subjecting myself

1324
01:51:16,718 --> 01:51:19,385
- to doctor's orders.
- Are you in pain?

1325
01:51:21,177 --> 01:51:22,677
I don't think so, no.

1326
01:51:22,677 --> 01:51:24,760
We're going to give you
a splash all the same.

1327
01:51:46,218 --> 01:51:47,760
Your hair is longer.

1328
01:51:50,343 --> 01:51:52,010
No, it's not.

1329
01:51:55,093 --> 01:51:57,177
They're giving you
too much medication.

1330
01:52:07,843 --> 01:52:08,552
No.

1331
01:52:10,052 --> 01:52:11,593
Dad.

1332
01:52:12,385 --> 01:52:15,968
It's okay, Dad.
You're just dreaming.

1333
01:52:15,968 --> 01:52:20,552
You're having a nightmare.

1334
01:52:22,052 --> 01:52:25,427
It's okay.

1335
01:52:43,052 --> 01:52:45,593
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

1336
01:52:48,302 --> 01:52:51,427
Okay. Don't worry, I'm going
to get the doctor. Don't worry.

1337
01:53:08,135 --> 01:53:10,135
You must be exhausted.

1338
01:53:11,802 --> 01:53:13,093
I'm fine.

1339
01:53:13,927 --> 01:53:16,343
I think you should go home,
get some rest.

1340
01:53:18,135 --> 01:53:21,218
No. Someone needs to be here.

1341
01:53:23,093 --> 01:53:25,968
Perhaps you could share
with some other family members.

1342
01:53:29,427 --> 01:53:31,218
There aren't any others.

1343
01:54:05,510 --> 01:54:07,218
Kay!

1344
01:54:07,218 --> 01:54:10,427
Daddy, it's okay.

1345
01:54:10,427 --> 01:54:13,343
Kay?

1346
01:54:17,218 --> 01:54:18,718
Kay.

1347
01:54:18,718 --> 01:54:21,510
Kay. Kay.

1348
01:54:27,177 --> 01:54:30,718
Kay.

1349
01:54:30,718 --> 01:54:33,385
Kay! Kay.

1350
01:54:33,385 --> 01:54:36,552
- Kay!
- I'm going to get the doctor.

1351
01:54:36,552 --> 01:54:38,093
Kay!

1352
01:54:38,093 --> 01:54:39,718
I'm going to get the doctor, Daddy.

1353
01:54:43,135 --> 01:54:47,260
Excuse me. My dad is really unwell.

1354
01:54:47,260 --> 01:54:49,552
Sit. I'll go have a look.

1355
01:54:51,302 --> 01:54:53,343
Maybe you could give him
some more morphine.

1356
01:54:53,343 --> 01:54:56,010
There's something
I'd like to explain.

1357
01:54:57,593 --> 01:54:59,385
I can certainly give him
more morphine,

1358
01:54:59,385 --> 01:55:02,593
but most likely it won't
make much difference.

1359
01:55:03,593 --> 01:55:08,093
Most deaths, fortunately,
are uneventful,

1360
01:55:08,093 --> 01:55:13,635
as long as you medicate the patients
to keep them free of fear and pain.

1361
01:55:13,635 --> 01:55:16,635
In a few cases,
the process of dying

1362
01:55:16,635 --> 01:55:18,427
causes brain damage,

1363
01:55:19,635 --> 01:55:21,885
which triggers
what we call delirium.

1364
01:55:22,635 --> 01:55:27,468
That's not something we can soften
with morphine, unfortunately.

1365
01:55:46,135 --> 01:55:47,593
Daddy.

1366
01:55:57,802 --> 01:55:59,510
It's gonna be okay.

1367
01:56:11,343 --> 01:56:14,260
I don't know
what's happening to me.

1368
01:56:31,177 --> 01:56:33,427
Don't you want to take a little walk?

1369
01:56:33,427 --> 01:56:35,760
I'll stay with your father
in the meantime.

1370
01:56:36,302 --> 01:56:39,177
You'll stay?
You'll stay here?

1371
01:56:39,177 --> 01:56:40,177
Yes.

1372
01:57:37,635 --> 01:57:39,552
Ash tree leaves.

1373
01:57:42,010 --> 01:57:43,802
Where did you find them?

1374
01:57:44,302 --> 01:57:46,177
They were in the park.

1375
01:57:54,302 --> 01:57:57,260
It truly is the most beautiful
tree in the forest.

1376
01:58:01,552 --> 01:58:03,843
But Dad...

1377
01:58:03,843 --> 01:58:06,802
How do you recognize it
in winter?

1378
01:58:07,802 --> 01:58:09,718
Told you 100 times.

1379
01:58:11,760 --> 01:58:13,468
I can't remember.

1380
01:58:18,218 --> 01:58:21,302
When the ash tree was created...

1381
01:58:23,927 --> 01:58:26,885
it made all the other trees
in the forest jealous,

1382
01:58:27,968 --> 01:58:29,760
because it was...

1383
01:58:32,052 --> 01:58:34,677
It was the most beautiful tree
in the forest.

1384
01:58:38,177 --> 01:58:40,010
It had the strongest wood.

1385
01:58:41,177 --> 01:58:42,968
It could be used for anything.

1386
01:58:45,635 --> 01:58:49,510
It was the World Tree
in Norse mythology.

1387
01:58:51,010 --> 01:58:53,968
You couldn't say
anything bad about it.

1388
01:58:58,177 --> 01:59:02,010
And then when all the other
trees saw the ash tree

1389
01:59:02,010 --> 01:59:05,093
with its black buds...

1390
01:59:06,177 --> 01:59:08,260
they all started laughing.

1391
01:59:09,177 --> 01:59:10,677
"Oh, look.

1392
01:59:11,927 --> 01:59:15,510
The ash tree's had its fingers
in the ashes."

1393
01:59:32,635 --> 01:59:35,927
Dad. Daddy!

1394
01:59:35,927 --> 01:59:37,968
Daddy. Daddy, what's wrong?

1395
01:59:37,968 --> 01:59:39,260
Daddy, what's wrong?

1396
01:59:42,885 --> 01:59:45,510
Daddy, it's me!
It's me, then. It's me!

1397
01:59:45,510 --> 01:59:48,385
Help! Help!

1398
01:59:51,093 --> 01:59:52,302
Okay.

1399
01:59:52,302 --> 01:59:54,468
Okay.

1400
01:59:57,510 --> 01:59:59,968
Okay. It's okay, it's okay.
It's all right.

1401
02:00:03,843 --> 02:00:05,635
It's all right.

1402
02:00:15,927 --> 02:00:18,218
We have to fixate him.

1403
02:00:18,218 --> 02:00:21,760
What are you doing?
What are you doing to me?

1404
02:00:26,885 --> 02:00:30,135
Joe! What are
you doing to me?

1405
02:00:44,343 --> 02:00:45,302
Joe!

1406
02:00:45,843 --> 02:00:48,718
Joe!

1407
02:00:48,718 --> 02:00:51,218
I'm sorry.

1408
02:00:56,385 --> 02:00:57,802
You should take a break.

1409
02:02:31,635 --> 02:02:33,385
Excuse me.

1410
02:02:40,677 --> 02:02:42,510
Okay, don't worry.

1411
02:02:42,510 --> 02:02:45,177
Just clean that up.

1412
02:03:32,218 --> 02:03:33,635
Ready?

1413
02:04:36,968 --> 02:04:41,260
When he died,
I had no feelings left.

1414
02:04:42,218 --> 02:04:44,552
Well,
that's certainly understandable.

1415
02:04:45,343 --> 02:04:48,427
No. I don't know
what happened to me.

1416
02:04:49,677 --> 02:04:51,218
It was very shameful.

1417
02:04:52,343 --> 02:04:56,093
Shameful?
I don't understand.

1418
02:05:21,968 --> 02:05:24,177
I lubricated.

1419
02:05:41,885 --> 02:05:44,218
I know you like to present
yourself in a negative way,

1420
02:05:44,218 --> 02:05:46,802
and that you have this,
kind of dark bias

1421
02:05:46,802 --> 02:05:48,885
that you're worse
than everyone else.

1422
02:05:49,552 --> 02:05:51,468
But this story doesn't
add to that belief.

1423
02:05:53,843 --> 02:05:57,260
It's extremely common
to react sexually in a crisis.

1424
02:05:58,052 --> 02:06:00,635
It may be shameful to you, but...

1425
02:06:00,635 --> 02:06:04,135
in literature,
there is many worse examples.

1426
02:06:07,885 --> 02:06:10,218
But I did inherit
my father's caliper.

1427
02:06:12,718 --> 02:06:17,385
I found it so beautiful
and worn by its use.

1428
02:06:18,593 --> 02:06:20,843
What else did you receive?

1429
02:06:23,593 --> 02:06:24,885
Nothing.

1430
02:06:26,677 --> 02:06:29,135
I didn't have the strength
to argue with my mother,

1431
02:06:29,135 --> 02:06:32,510
so I wrote off any further
part of my inheritance.

1432
02:06:32,510 --> 02:06:37,552
Really?
Well, that's a dramatic gesture.

1433
02:06:40,885 --> 02:06:44,343
- You listen to music, I see?
- Yes.

1434
02:06:44,343 --> 02:06:48,510
I like it a lot.
Shall I find a tape?

1435
02:06:48,510 --> 02:06:53,343
No, if there's a tape already
in the machine? I'd like to hear that.

1436
02:06:53,885 --> 02:06:55,927
It's something I've been
listening to a lot lately,

1437
02:06:55,927 --> 02:06:59,218
though it's not an entirely complete
recording, unfortunately.

1438
02:06:59,843 --> 02:07:02,510
- What is it?
- It's Bach.

1439
02:07:02,510 --> 02:07:05,260
From his little organ book.

1440
02:07:12,260 --> 02:07:14,552
The theme is originally a hymn,

1441
02:07:15,427 --> 02:07:18,802
Bach rearranged it
and embellished it a little.

1442
02:07:19,843 --> 02:07:23,052
He was the master at polyphony,
if you know what that is.

1443
02:07:23,052 --> 02:07:25,718
No, yet another thing I don't know.

1444
02:07:25,718 --> 02:07:28,927
Polyphony is
from the Middle Ages.

1445
02:07:28,927 --> 02:07:31,427
It's an entirely European phenomenon.

1446
02:07:32,260 --> 02:07:35,260
It's distinguished
by the idea that,

1447
02:07:35,260 --> 02:07:38,385
every voice is its own melody,

1448
02:07:39,843 --> 02:07:41,802
but together in harmony.

1449
02:07:43,677 --> 02:07:47,885
Bach's forerunner, Palestrina,
he wrote many words

1450
02:07:47,885 --> 02:07:50,552
for several choirs at the same time,

1451
02:07:50,552 --> 02:07:52,968
wallowing in polyphony.

1452
02:08:02,968 --> 02:08:05,218
But in my eyes, Bach perfected

1453
02:08:05,218 --> 02:08:07,552
the melodic expression
and the harmony.

1454
02:08:08,593 --> 02:08:13,010
And also mixed up with some
rather incomprehensible

1455
02:08:13,010 --> 02:08:15,385
mystique regarding numbers,

1456
02:08:15,385 --> 02:08:19,135
most likely based on
the Fibonacci Sequence.

1457
02:08:20,718 --> 02:08:23,052
You know the one that
starts with the zero,

1458
02:08:23,052 --> 02:08:24,260
and then comes the one.

1459
02:08:24,968 --> 02:08:29,218
The sequence is created by
adding the two previous numbers

1460
02:08:29,218 --> 02:08:32,510
to create the new one,
so it's zero plus one makes one.

1461
02:08:32,510 --> 02:08:35,385
and one plus one makes two,
and two plus one makes three

1462
02:08:35,385 --> 02:08:38,802
and three plus two makes five,
and five plus three makes eight,

1463
02:08:38,802 --> 02:08:40,968
and eight plus five makes 13.

1464
02:08:40,968 --> 02:08:42,718
The sequence has an
interesting connection

1465
02:08:42,718 --> 02:08:45,510
to Pythagoras' theorem
of the Golden Section.

1466
02:08:47,260 --> 02:08:50,718
It was all about finding out
a divine methodology

1467
02:08:50,718 --> 02:08:52,635
in art and architecture.

1468
02:08:52,635 --> 02:08:54,593
A bit like the way a tri-tone,

1469
02:08:54,593 --> 02:08:56,718
which was played on the piano
in your little club

1470
02:08:56,718 --> 02:08:58,677
was supposed to be
a satanic interval.

1471
02:09:00,343 --> 02:09:04,510
The sum of the numeric values
represented in Bach's name is 14,

1472
02:09:05,510 --> 02:09:07,760
a number he often used
in his compositions.

1473
02:09:07,760 --> 02:09:09,593
The clever thing about Bach's name

1474
02:09:09,593 --> 02:09:13,177
is that the numeric value
of the individual letters

1475
02:09:13,177 --> 02:09:14,927
are all Fibonacci numbers.

1476
02:09:18,010 --> 02:09:20,593
This piece has three voices:

1477
02:09:20,593 --> 02:09:21,760
the bass voice...

1478
02:09:27,635 --> 02:09:29,510
The second voice
played with the left hand.

1479
02:09:34,260 --> 02:09:36,177
The first voice played
with the right hand.

1480
02:09:36,177 --> 02:09:40,093
That is called
Cantus Firmus, or Cantu firmus.

1481
02:09:40,093 --> 02:09:44,260
And together, these three voices
create the polyphony.

1482
02:11:15,093 --> 02:11:18,385
Well, if I should compare
this with my story,

1483
02:11:18,385 --> 02:11:21,760
it's reminiscent of
a quality of nymphomania,

1484
02:11:21,760 --> 02:11:25,302
which is normally ignored,
but nonetheless essential,

1485
02:11:25,302 --> 02:11:28,968
and namely the relationship
between the various intercourses.

1486
02:11:31,635 --> 02:11:33,885
That's interesting.

1487
02:11:33,885 --> 02:11:36,593
They create a... a completeness?

1488
02:11:37,968 --> 02:11:40,302
As, for example, the handshake,

1489
02:11:40,302 --> 02:11:43,552
which for all people
is the sum of

1490
02:11:43,552 --> 02:11:46,468
all the different handshakes
that together

1491
02:11:46,468 --> 02:11:49,843
form our view
of what a handshake is.

1492
02:11:49,843 --> 02:11:52,760
The good, the bad handshake,

1493
02:11:52,760 --> 02:11:54,427
the firm, the limp.

1494
02:11:56,468 --> 02:11:59,177
Normally, a nymphomaniac
is seen as...

1495
02:12:00,468 --> 02:12:02,510
someone who can't get enough,

1496
02:12:03,427 --> 02:12:05,802
and therefore, has sex
with many different people.

1497
02:12:05,802 --> 02:12:07,510
Well, that, of course, is true,

1498
02:12:07,510 --> 02:12:12,302
but if I'm to be honest,
I see it precisely as

1499
02:12:12,302 --> 02:12:16,927
the sum of all these different
sexual experiences.

1500
02:12:18,760 --> 02:12:22,885
So in that way,
I have only one lover.

1501
02:12:27,635 --> 02:12:30,468
Since the music
has three voices,

1502
02:12:30,468 --> 02:12:34,343
I will limit myself to talking
about three lovers.

1503
02:12:34,343 --> 02:12:38,177
The bass is easy.
That's F.

1504
02:12:38,760 --> 02:12:42,135
F had a red car
that he'd bought used.

1505
02:12:45,052 --> 02:12:46,343
As I was having sex

1506
02:12:46,343 --> 02:12:50,510
with seven or eight men
every night at the time,

1507
02:12:50,510 --> 02:12:52,802
scheduling was tricky.

1508
02:12:52,802 --> 02:12:55,843
And they all had to have
precise appointments.

1509
02:12:55,843 --> 02:12:58,885
F was a good man.

1510
02:12:58,885 --> 02:13:01,593
If he was scheduled
for ten o'clock,

1511
02:13:01,593 --> 02:13:05,885
he always showed up around nine
and parked down in the street.

1512
02:13:05,885 --> 02:13:08,177
I always smiled when I saw him.

1513
02:13:10,010 --> 02:13:13,677
Often I took pity on him,
and gave him a cup of coffee,

1514
02:13:13,677 --> 02:13:15,885
although I was finishing
with the one before.

1515
02:13:18,510 --> 02:13:22,010
It's hard to say why I'm
choosing to talk about F,

1516
02:13:22,010 --> 02:13:23,677
but he was reassuring,

1517
02:13:24,218 --> 02:13:27,510
and he knew exactly what
I wanted when we had sex.

1518
02:13:28,427 --> 02:13:32,052
No, I'd go even further,
and say that there was

1519
02:13:32,052 --> 02:13:35,302
a kind of telepathy going on
when we had sex.

1520
02:13:36,385 --> 02:13:40,802
Without words, he knew
exactly what I wanted,

1521
02:13:40,802 --> 02:13:43,885
where he should touch me
and what he should do.

1522
02:13:45,552 --> 02:13:49,885
The most sacred goal for F
was my orgasm.

1523
02:13:50,760 --> 02:13:53,677
Why? And then...

1524
02:13:53,677 --> 02:13:57,802
the swans answered
in the same voice.

1525
02:13:57,802 --> 02:13:59,927
And granted him privileges

1526
02:13:59,927 --> 02:14:02,093
none of the others received.

1527
02:14:08,677 --> 02:14:10,885
F was the bass voice.

1528
02:14:10,885 --> 02:14:14,802
Monotone, predictable
and ritualistic.

1529
02:14:14,802 --> 02:14:16,802
No doubt about it.

1530
02:14:16,802 --> 02:14:20,468
But also the foundation
that is so important,

1531
02:14:20,468 --> 02:14:23,593
even if on its own
it doesn't mean much.

1532
02:14:56,635 --> 02:14:58,593
G was quite different.

1533
02:14:59,677 --> 02:15:03,427
The only one I had to,
and wanted to wait for.

1534
02:15:04,427 --> 02:15:08,010
When he finally turned up
and I opened the door,

1535
02:15:08,010 --> 02:15:10,385
he didn't immediately enter,

1536
02:15:10,385 --> 02:15:13,343
the way a cat doesn't
when you let it in.

1537
02:15:13,343 --> 02:15:15,843
As if,
once the door is open,

1538
02:15:15,843 --> 02:15:17,968
it has all the time
in the world.

1539
02:15:24,843 --> 02:15:27,218
But he was more
than a cat.

1540
02:15:27,218 --> 02:15:30,343
He was like some kind
of jaguar, or leopard.

1541
02:15:31,718 --> 02:15:34,093
He moved like them,

1542
02:15:34,093 --> 02:15:36,718
which turned me on no end.

1543
02:15:47,510 --> 02:15:49,968
When he laid down on my bed,

1544
02:15:49,968 --> 02:15:52,593
it was clear to me that
I should approach him,

1545
02:15:52,593 --> 02:15:54,468
and not the other way round.

1546
02:15:55,052 --> 02:16:00,468
And when I did touch him,
it was with some hesitation,

1547
02:16:00,468 --> 02:16:03,885
as his reactions
were unpredictable.

1548
02:16:03,885 --> 02:16:06,885
He was in charge.
That's the way it was.

1549
02:16:09,260 --> 02:16:11,552
♪ ♪

1550
02:16:57,385 --> 02:16:59,718
Despite my success in managing

1551
02:16:59,718 --> 02:17:02,968
the complicated logistics
involved with arranging

1552
02:17:02,968 --> 02:17:06,510
up to ten daily
sexual satisfactions,

1553
02:17:06,510 --> 02:17:09,343
while also having
a full-time job,

1554
02:17:09,343 --> 02:17:12,718
I was still prone to
a certain sadness.

1555
02:17:12,718 --> 02:17:15,677
So when my busy life
allowed a few breaks,

1556
02:17:15,677 --> 02:17:17,968
I used them
to take my walks.

1557
02:17:18,968 --> 02:17:22,427
These repeated walks
became a kind of metaphor

1558
02:17:22,427 --> 02:17:25,510
for my life.
Monotonous and pointless.

1559
02:17:28,218 --> 02:17:31,927
Yes, precisely like the
movements of a caged animal.

1560
02:17:33,510 --> 02:17:36,302
Basically, we're all waiting
for permission to die.

1561
02:19:03,968 --> 02:19:05,468
No.

1562
02:19:06,343 --> 02:19:09,385
No, no, no. No, there...

1563
02:19:09,385 --> 02:19:12,135
There are some completely
unrealistic coincidences

1564
02:19:12,135 --> 02:19:13,802
in your story about Jerome.

1565
02:19:16,010 --> 02:19:19,843
First, by chance, he hires you as...
As an assistant.

1566
02:19:19,843 --> 02:19:21,427
And then you take a walk in a forest,

1567
02:19:21,427 --> 02:19:23,260
and it's littered
with photographs of him.

1568
02:19:23,260 --> 02:19:26,218
And not only that... he's present.

1569
02:19:27,260 --> 02:19:31,968
And then like a god,
pulls you up to him through the clouds.

1570
02:19:31,968 --> 02:19:35,677
So what?
That's the way this story goes.

1571
02:19:36,468 --> 02:19:39,510
And I'm the one telling it,
and I know what happened.

1572
02:19:40,760 --> 02:19:42,677
Do you want to hear it or not?

1573
02:19:46,218 --> 02:19:47,968
Goodness gracious.

1574
02:20:00,135 --> 02:20:02,010
What a strange way to meet.

1575
02:20:03,843 --> 02:20:04,843
Yes.

1576
02:20:06,802 --> 02:20:08,843
It's a very strange way.

1577
02:20:08,843 --> 02:20:11,427
Jerome was there
because he'd just had a fight

1578
02:20:11,427 --> 02:20:14,468
with his wife, who in anger
tore up the photographs

1579
02:20:14,468 --> 02:20:16,718
they just had developed
from their travels.

1580
02:20:16,718 --> 02:20:19,468
I don't know if I can believe this.

1581
02:20:19,468 --> 02:20:21,218
Which way
do you think you'd get the most

1582
02:20:21,218 --> 02:20:22,760
out of my story?

1583
02:20:22,760 --> 02:20:25,135
By believing in it
or not believing in it?

1584
02:20:26,302 --> 02:20:27,843
Yeah, you're right.

1585
02:20:27,843 --> 02:20:29,510
You might have a point
with all this.

1586
02:20:33,677 --> 02:20:37,635
The secret ingredient
to sex is love.

1587
02:20:41,760 --> 02:20:44,635
The third voice,
the secret ingredient.

1588
02:20:45,552 --> 02:20:47,135
Cantus Firmus.

1589
02:22:22,177 --> 02:22:25,468
Fill all my holes.

1590
02:22:27,468 --> 02:22:32,385
♪ ♪

1591
02:23:24,760 --> 02:23:26,010
What's wrong?

1592
02:23:26,010 --> 02:23:28,718
Hmm?

1593
02:23:28,718 --> 02:23:31,885
- I can't feel anything.
- Huh?

1594
02:23:31,885 --> 02:23:33,385
I can't feel anything.

1595
02:23:36,218 --> 02:23:38,218
I can't feel anything.

1596
02:23:40,468 --> 02:23:42,968
I can't... anything.

1597
02:23:48,385 --> 02:23:53,052
"Fأ¼hre mich") ♪